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This year has been difficult, my sister passed away and I was emotionally challenged, helpless.  You never KNOW how you will feel or react when the passing of your close family member happens. This is one of the pains that you do not have a pian tablet that can help or any medical solution they can help. Knowing that your loved one has passed on, make you sick from an illness that cannot be diagnosed by doctors. What made me sick was the disbelieve of what KNOW, my sister has passed on and the responsibility that will be delegated to me. They say “To whom much is given, much is expected. There’s no way God can give you a huge problem in your head without giving you broad shoulders to hold that head tight and we said to him, in as much as we’re facing these challenges, we don’t pray for less problems, but we wish to pray for more strength, and he’s done that.”

The educated people say knowing put you in an advantageous position, to address the challenge you are facing. It more advantageous to know why? Knowing why makes you find meaning in the challenge you are faced with. The word KNOW made me find meaning in the passing of my sister, with a hope of healing. The word KNOW gave me the following:

  • KWANZAA: Kwanzaa’s seven principles illustrated the unity of the family during the good and sad times. Self-determination during difficult times and family collective work in all challenges in life. Our responsibility within the family and communities and cooperation with others in life. Finding your purpose in life for the benefit of others, be creative to overcome your challenges and never lose faith in all challenges in life.
  • NOMINATED: The process of selecting a candidate to fulfil the obligations related to the work or goals. The candidate goes through tests to be honored or awarded with a new role, my family had to be tested for us to know our new role in life.
  • OBLIGED: This was a morally bounding event, which tested our faith and brought us together as a family.
  • WILLINGNESS: This is about accepting the challenge and committing yourself to be part of the solution. I accepted the responsibility and committed myself to new family roles and tasks.

Knowing the meaning behind KNOW was not enough for me to heal, the pain was there and not going away. A month later I had my coaching section with my life coach Dr Emmanuel Imevbore. I shared my challenges with him, he was accommodative and even shared his painful life experiences with me. This is when he introduced me to the concept of AVELA by Dr Emmanuel Imevbore. AVELA is a concept of keeping you focused and grounded especially in tough times. AVELA stands for: Awareness; Value; Energy/Empowerment; Lifestyle; and Action/Ability.

  • Awareness: Self, People, Situations and Environment: Awareness refers to your knowledge of self, concerning your life purpose, plan and programmes, as well as concerning other people in achieving the purpose. Awareness also refers to your interaction with a specific, spatial and global environment, as you adapt to where you are, as well as what you can or cannot control or change.
  • Value: Value Systems; Principles; People; Desires: You can know a person’s worth by his value systems. What would he spend money on? Where would he spend his most precious moments? With whom does he associate? What does he love to do? Value relates to personal perception of what, where and who is of high importance and great worth, that would demand our attention and affection.
  • Energy: Vigour; Enthusiasm; Passion; Enjoyment: Several researches prove that less than 20% of people employed in an organization are enthusiastic about going to work each day. They often drag themselves out of their beds and go through the motions with gritted teeth each day, just as our kids go through the motions of going to school each day. But, why do we act differently when we are going on a holiday or to visit someone that we love? It is energy! This relates to our perception and our realities about having to do something, rather than loving to do something. When we have to do it, we just do it anyway and try to love doing it. But, when we love it, we love to do it over and over again. We never want to stop – we have the energy. We never get exhausted when we do what we love. Work is work, so it hardly gives us that much pleasure, but even when we do some work that we see as a play, we lose enthusiasm as well. Nothing worthy can be done without real energy.
  • Lifestyle: Excellent Life Balance; Outlook; Worldview: A person’s lifestyle refers to how the person lives his or her life, and functions on a daily basis concerning other people, the environment, personal values, habits, obligations, desires, activities, and behavioural tendencies, among others. Lifestyle thus reveals much about how a person balances his or her life and manages the diverse contending issues that relate to right living and that ensures excellent relationships with people, at work, in business, within the family, at play, at home etc. It suggests a good balance of talents, health, mind, body, spirit, resources and well-being.
  • Action/Ability: Skills, Capacity-building; Resources: Knowledge is often said to be power. The saying simply emphasises the importance of building your capacity and improving your abilities through continuous learning and the appropriate utilisation of the knowledge being acquired to bring about transformational changes in your life and the lives of others.

Thanks to knowing AVELA by Dr Emmanuel Imevbore of International Coaching and Mentoring Institute. I’m now in the process of healing, AVELA did put things into perspective. It taught me that challenges only help to fire that enthusiasm and galvanise you further. You will continue to do great things for yourself, your family and your community when you are more appreciative of the gift of people that are around you. I hope this will find room in your heart and form more information about AVELA principles visit

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