The Man in The Corner- Challenge

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The man in the corner is fearless however the man in the comfort zone is in trouble.

I’ve had many stories about individuals that started a business after losing their jobs and end up becoming successful businessmen or businesswomen. When they tell their stories, they all say the same things. “I had nothing to lose” all of them they we in a state of fearless. The common word in all their stories is fearless. Fearless individuals are introspective of their own mental processes in that they feel the fear and do the thing anyway. Another common trait of the fearless is that they give themselves the leniency to be human. 

Dr.  Craig said “A fearless mind is achieved when we have cleansed ourselves of the barriers that prevent us from reaching our greatest potential. We do this by learning to accept what we have control over and what we don’t. Once we understand what our responsibility is and what isn’t, then we can channel all our energy into mastering those aspects that we have direct responsibility and not waste energy on those things that are not within our responsibility”.

Focusing on what you can control. It’s a cliché, but it’s true. It can also change your life. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” — Maya Angelou. If being fearless is about focusing on what you can control and removing all barriers that prevent us from reaching our greatest potential. Finding ways to enhance a fearless mindset which promote successful culture is the way to go. Anthony Mazzocchi says the are 14 Ways To Be Fearless and these methods have helped many people to be successful. Many of the methods I have used to prepare for huge performances have helped me to conquer fear in other areas of life.

Here’s how you can start overcoming fear:

  1. Be aware of fear in your life. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to admit that you have it. Perhaps fear is your “normal” state of being, and that is quite a bit to overcome all at once.  Write down some aspects of your life where have to fear;  getting them down on paper is important because trying to simply think them through never works.
  2. Stare at fearless people.  Fill your brain with images of what you want your “future self” to look like.  Connect with as many role models as you can, whether in person, through a book, or online.  Use these examples as an energy source to combat your fear.
  3. Be objective. Take an interest in investigating your fears. Ask yourself about what thoughts generate your fear, where you feel the fear, and how you react to it. Try to be an objective observer of your own life.
  4. Be willing to look stupid.  Remember:  Wayne Gretzky fell on his tail a ton, and Itzhak Perlman has had horrible performances.  Once you are willing to risk the emotional pain of making mistakes, you will shed more fear than you ever imagined.  Know that making mistakes will help you obtain the information you use to create the correct behaviors and that everyone who has ever done something great has failed more than once.
  5. Adopt a mindset of gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, try to feel grateful instead. I have been performing a lot of solos recently, and it is scary!  Instead of freaking out, I have decided to be grateful for the opportunity to communicate musically with so many people, and I know that they are there to genuinely listen to me play and root me on.
  6. Seek out, teachers.  It’s never too late to have a teacher; we are never done learning.  Seek out someone who scares you a little—not a polite person who always makes you feel warm and fuzzy.  Seek out someone who watches you closely, is brutally honest, and gives clear directions on how you can get better at whatever scares you.
  7. Share. How often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how others might react?  Sharing helps because you will realize that many people feel the same way as you do and have stories to share as well.  Do you have a fear of success or a fear of failure?  Sharing with someone can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from.
  8. Embrace struggle.  Most of us instinctively avoid struggle, because it feels like a failure, and that scares us, but the term “no pain, no gain” holds true.  To develop our skills, it is a necessity that we struggle with, so we must embrace it.  Once we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates.
  9. Read. My personal favorite. Reading a good book related to your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. I constantly fill my world with motivational and inspirational books on and related to, the topic I’m dealing with.
  10. Use visualization. Imagine yourself in a scary situation without fear. Watch people do things fearlessly that would normally freak you out.  Visualize yourself as that person.  Create a very clear picture of fearlessness in your mind.
  11. Put things in perspective. Putting your negative thoughts in perspective is a huge way to overcome fear. In the grand scheme of life, why are you afraid? While you are freaking out about something, life is moving on without you.  Sometimes it’s helpful to remember this.
  12. Release control. Of course, we want to be in control, but when we relinquish it we tend to free ourselves up.  Allow yourself to make mistakes—after all, that’s where learning and growth really happen.  We learn from our failures, but to fail we need to release control.
  13. Think about the worst-case scenario. What’s the worst that could happen? I have crumbled on stage in front of hundreds of people. My wife still loved me; I lived. Life goes on.
  14. Look within. What is the root of your fear? Meditate on it. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started: How far back does your fear go? Did you have an early failure that has stuck with you?  Explore it.  That’s what life is all about.

So if there is a way to be fearless and achieve all, what is stopping us to be fearless. We always wait to be pushed to a corner to start being fearless.  They say a man in the corner is fearless, however, the man in the comfort zone is in trouble.

When successful individual tells their stories, they say their comfort zone was holding them back. Your comfort zone is a place where you feel safe, comfortable and in control, but your abilities are not being tested, or you do not have anything new or different thing to do from your daily routine. Uma Kasoji said growth and success lie outside your comfort zone. “If you’re too comfortable, it’s time to move on. Terrified of what’s next? You’re on the right track.” — Susan Fales. What can move you out of your comfort zone? These are some of the examples, loss of income, losing your loved one, losing your support structure and more. All these are life challenges which we do not want to happen to us, however, they play an important role in moving us out of our comfort zone and becoming fearless in life. 

Challenges are important parts of life that give you experiences, make you learn and help you to become wiser and stronger. Challenges make us grow and shape us. Facing challenges and navigating one’s way through them builds resilience capacity. Knowing that one can overcome obstacles, learn from struggles and benefit from mistakes lays a solid foundation for success in later life.

It is important to embrace our challenges as they force us out of our comfort zone into fearless individuals. I know it is difficult to embrace a challenge but look at it’s as a catalyst to your success. The word CHALLENGE carry a lot of wisdom for self-development:

Courage: Discovering the ability to do something difficult to achieve, is one way to remove barriers, that is preventing us from the point of fearless. The challenges create a resilience mindset to find the courage of the Man in the corner.

Honor: Honor makes you recognize the importance of life. Once there is honor, there is righteousness and integrity. The privilege of recognizing the importance of life will help you see challenges in a positive light and shape you to be a Man in the corner.

Attitude:  Developing a positive settled way of thinking when facing challenges. This is one way of achieving your greatest potential and its impact on your work performance, relationships and everyone around you. This is what we call the Man in the corner attitude. 

Listen: Listening means paying attention not only to the story, but how it is told, the use of language and voice, and how the other person uses his or her body. In other words, it means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. The challenge has the capability of telling or sending a message. If you pay attention to the message that the challenge is communicating to you will discover the Man in the corner in, you. 

Learn:  Learning is essential to humanity. It’s so embedded in our lives that we rarely consider what it means. Learning is the process of gaining new skills, knowledge, understanding, and values. Challenges are embedded with live essential learning that creates wisdom of the Man in the corner. 

Effort: Effort teaches us that we can do more than we thought. We learn new skills and abilities when we take the time to put in consistent effort. Every new success that we achieve through our efforts increases our confidence in ourselves and our abilities. As we go through our challenges, the effort we put in increases our confidence in ourselves and our abilities. This teaches us the characteristics of the Man in the corner.

Now: “The Power of Now” is a spiritual self-help guide to help us discover our true Being, release our pain and find deep inner peace. When we are intensely present in the Now, we respond from deep consciousness and flow with ease and joy in life. In so doing, we can better fulfill our outer purpose by Eckhart Tolle. These are characteristics of the Man in the corner that have to find deep inner peace and fulfill our outer purpose.

Grow:  Grow this is the simple yet powerful technique and tools to improve our life. The tools present first, you decide where you are going (the goal) and establish where you currently are (your current reality). You then explore various routes (the options) to your destination. In the final step, establishing the will, you ensure that you’re committed to making the journey, and are prepared for the obstacles that you could meet on the way. The Man in the corner use these tools since they had nothing to lose, they establish their goal, recognize their reality, evaluate his/her options and adopt willpower. 

Empower: This is the process of empowerment concept used by coaches to enhance individuals to achieve their goals. This is one of the Man in corners technics to overcome his challenges by creating life balance. Emphasize – The issue presents the impact of it on different areas of life as per a life wheel and also how other areas of life are contributing to the issue. It allows understanding the width and breadth of the problem fully and completely. It also helps to bring to the surface the totality of the situation, this presents an opportunity to discover the real problem than the presenting issue. 

Motivate – This is the time to collect all the positive resources in an individual to move forward from the current situation.  Motivate people by focusing them on the outcome and using their life experiences to add to the motivational energy. Going back to life situations where they have been successful and created great life learning or success usually helps them to bring the confidence back and get on the path.

Persistence – This is the responsibility/accountability that helps you to persist on the path of success. This involves positive feedback and continuation of the coaching support for the client’s work

Observation – Reexamines the path and provides feedback based upon the experience of the current state. This may result in the modification of the path or simply reinforcement that the current path is going well

Wonder – Wonder and curiosity are the keys in any life situation to bring creativity to life situations. When we are motivated and moving on our path a little curiosity and wonder makes us add elements that will make our life journey more fruitful.

Evaluate – Evaluation is the key to achievement, that set out what to do or we have to tweak and change the things around. Either way, we are on a path to success

Repeat – We keep repeating the above process to help with as many issues as we need. Active listening, open awareness and mindfulness are great tools to help with the process.

Life & Business Coaching Model Iva Mishra

Remember you cannot write “challenge without change in its” and “if doesn’t challenge you it will not change you” unknown.

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