Walk Alone

The True Universal Teacher

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I’m the only son of a family of four children. Growing up as a boy, I had to learn to walk alone on my journey to become a man. During my morning hiking trail, I was reminded of the importance of walking alone. I have walked this trail before with a group of hikers. However, I realized that I was not paying attention on the trail because I left my responsibility to the group of hikers. I only realized this when I was hiking the same trail alone. I lost my direction and realized I was not responsible on my first hiking trail.

One of life’s most painful truths is that we are born alone and die alone. So, the sooner we embrace this reality, the sooner we can make peace with ourselves. When there is peace, there is the absence of dissonance. When dissonance is absent, the chances of personal growth and success are higher.Hence, being open-minded and mindful of the energies we invite into our lives is vital. If we sweep and decorate our belief system often, we can become self-dependent (different from independent) and learn to walk alone. We will be far more at peace. It is the seed for evolution and personal growth.Remember to remain the master of your thoughts. You alone are the best judge of your reality.Walking alone, relying on ourselves, and having the least expectations from people around us ensures more harmony. Many people will join you on your journey and leave you. Do not get attached to the person or an outcome. As Tagore said, “Everything comes to us that belongs to us.” So go on spreading, giving, and sharing in your life, and leave fond memories in the hearts and minds of others. Live with the brightness of memories as we do not know when we enter the evening of life.

Doing things alone also applies to working alone and the benefits of working alone. There are many reasons people prefer working alone: Less distraction. Concentrating on your ultimate goals is easier when you are not distracted by other people’s concerns. More opportunity for individual creativity. There about 23 benefits of working alone:

1. Reduces conflict

Working in a team can be challenging since others have distinct work habits, opinions and ideas for doing things. Some teams might have an imbalance of work ethic, with some members doing more work than others. Conflict or misunderstanding can often occur in these situations. Working alone puts you in control of decision-making and workflow, eliminating interpersonal conflicts and increasing productivity and job satisfaction.

2. Increases your efficiency

When you work alone, you may find it easier to concentrate and work much faster. You can also have more clarity in the task you are working on since you won’t have to incorporate others’ input. Blocking out all distractions and working independently can help you put more effort into your assignment, resulting in improved productivity and better results.

Related: 10 Simple Ways To Be More Productive at Work

3. Provides you with an enjoyable challenge

Working independently may be challenging but enjoyable. Having no team members to rely on can test your confidence and accuracy as you develop your ideas.

Related: 16 Ways To Create a Happy Workplace

4. Puts you in charge

Another benefit of working independently is the opportunity to be your manager. Although some people prefer to follow orders from their superiors, others prefer a more flexible work style that puts them in charge. Self-management can help you set your own goals, build your workflow and achieve your goals as you see fit.

5. Allows you to take full credit

If you are a competitive type of person, working alone might be more suitable for you. When working independently, you can take full credit for any projects or tasks you are working on. There’s no one else to share the credit but yourself, allowing your manager to recognize your skills.

6. Increases job satisfaction

When you work independently, you may find more job satisfaction because you’re responsible for planning your tasks and getting the credit for your success. You may also be more willing to take a risk independently. When risks result in positive outcomes, your work can fulfil you.

8. Allows you to work at your own pace

Working alone allows you to plan your workday on your own and stick to the convenient flow. As long as you can complete your tasks on time, you can choose whatever convenient pace.

Related: Guide To Flexible Work Schedules

9. Eliminates politics

Working alone allows you to focus on what you love to do instead of how to get the tasks done while interacting with a wide range of personalities.

10. Eliminates or reduces team meetings

When you work alone, you can avoid the planning, preparation, reporting, travelling and other action-taking associated with meetings. You can focus on your regular job duties with the time saved from eliminating or reducing meetings.

11. Gives you more control of your time

Working independently means that you usually have control over your schedule. You can put your work tasks in the most efficient order and fit them around your non-work commitments, such as buying essentials from the store, exercising and completing family obligations. You can work long hours if you’re in the mood or need to complete something urgently. If you need a break, you can work less.

12. Creates a more relaxed environment

Working alone can mean that you can perform your task in a less restrictive and formal environment, especially if you work from home. There’s usually more opportunity to play your favourite music, wear cozier clothing or sit on comfortable furniture. A more relaxed atmosphere can improve your productivity and sense of well-being.

Related: 20 Ways to Improve Your Work Environment

13. Removes potential sources of stress

If you work alone, no supervisor or manager is nearby monitoring your work. Solo working can remove potential sources of stress and make for a more productive and relaxed environment.

14. Eliminates the need to manage others

Individual working means you don’t need to manage, monitor or train anybody else, which can free up your time and reduce workplace challenges.

15. Shortens project timelines

When an individual instead of a team manages a project, less coordination, feedback, work distribution, and general organization are necessary. This can result in the project taking less time to complete, costing less money and consuming less of a company’s resources, such as funding, electricity and office supplies.

Related: 8 Steps To Creating a Project Timeline and Top Benefits

16. Demonstrates that you’re a good self-manager

Working alone is a soft skill many companies seek in a job candidate. This means you can work independently at different times, whether remotely or in a common office space. Mentioning that you prefer to work independently can show a hiring manager that you need minimal assistance to complete tasks.

17. Makes you more creative

It’s common for creative individuals to choose to work independently when they are thinking of new ideas, primarily because it’s usually easier to innovate without the influence of other people. Working in a team can be fun and stimulating, but trying to develop creative ideas yourself can be more rewarding.

18. Boosts your self-esteem and self-confidence

A boost in self-confidence means that you trust yourself to be competent in the situations you encounter, and an increase in self-esteem can give you a positive outlook on yourself. Working independently can instill confidence, as you believe in your capacities and knowledge to handle any challenge.

19. Promotes your well-being

If you work independently in the comfort of your home, you don’t have to worry about commuting or spending long hours away from your friends or family. This can help you reduce stress and improve your work-life balance.

20. Enhances your reputation

When you prove that you can work independently, other people may view you positively as a contributor to the team. You might find more advancement opportunities when you have a strong reputation for independence.

21. Increases self-reliance

If you can meet your own needs, you don’t have to depend on others for help, which can reduce your colleagues’ workload and increase productivity.

22. Makes you an asset to others

With independence comes the ability to care for yourself and help other people with the skills and knowledge you have. People may learn to trust you as a beneficial resource and seek assistance.

23. Sharpens your memory

During your solitary work time, you may find that you better remember information you have learned, ideas you have developed and helpful associations you have made.

Walking alone is a philosophical concept. The compounding concept aims to develop 23 benefits of working alone. This is what we call a Walking “ALONE” Model, and this model seeks to emulate the philosophical concept of improving and developing 23 benefits of working alone.



“Driver” Syndrome the Passenger Seat

DIRECT and REVIEW, INTERPRET your VISION and sit on the EXECUTIVE VIEW so that you can RESPOND accurately

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For the past two and half years, I’ve been driving passing the new development in my neighbourhood. I thought it was delayed or on hold due to COVID. Last month we had a friends’ retreat, and my friend gave me a lift to the venue. He picked me up at my house, and I sat in the back passenger seat next to the “Executive View” window. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and the development was almost done. The high walls of the development and my driver orientation didn’t allow me to see development progress in the last two years. Because of my driving orientation, I assumed that the development was on hold. When my friend noticed my reaction, he laughed and said, ‘Driver Syndrome’. He then shared a similar story he experienced a few years ago. He said most leaders and goal-oriented individuals suffer from this illness, and he called it Driver Syndrome. 

He said most leaders spend most of their time and energy on the version, goals and targets. They track the progress, monitor and evaluate and make corrections. The leader sits in the driving position of the organization. They do not have the opportunity to sit on the passenger seat or take time to sit on the passenger seats and have the Executive View. This applies to goal-oriented individuals, and they focus on their individual goals. The goal-oriented individuals do not have the luxury of sitting in the passenger seat and experiencing the Executive View. That why coaching is recommended for goal-oriented individuals to assist with the Executive View.

He explained the passenger seat view using Dakar racing as an analogy. The organisation’s leader behaves like a car or truck driver. The driver of the car does not have the view of the passenger, and the same applies to the leader. If you have ever watched the Dakar racing, all the drivers have the passenger driver for the route management and the Executive View on time to make the tactical decision.

What is the Executive View?

Executive View allows leaders to examine and evaluate the organization at every level from multiple perspectives. Assess current status, conduct historical point-in-time analysis, examine trends, or model scenarios – in minutes – not days, weeks, or months. Only in the passenger seat can the leaders examine and evaluate the organization at every level from multiple perspectives.

The managerial span of control is between 11 to 15 direct reports. A leader’s role typically manages 8 to 10 direct reports. The work in this role gets more complex, and the leader often has a level of individual responsibility, which requires skill and experience to balance effectively. That is one of the reasons the passenger seat is crucial for leaders to have the Executive View.

We have seen the Executive View method applied in sports. One of the dominating soccer teams worldwide has three senior coaches, one manager and an army of technical team experts. This allows the team manager to sit on the passenger seat and experience the Executive View. Unfortunately, not all organizations have the luxury of resources due to financial constraints. This leads to server social, untouchable personal issues, relationships, personal health issues and damage to organizational culture.

The DRIVER model is established for leaders and goal-oriented individuals to make time to sit in the passenger seat and experience the Executive View.

Figure 1: DRIVER Model




The Fall

You fall in love, and You fall from the position of power

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Fall is usually associated with failure. In South Africa, we have coined the phrase “must fall”. This was made famous during the former president. The fall was used as a removal act, with the aim of falling from the position of power. 14 February will come, and you will hear people saying they have fallen in love, expressing strong feelings of attachment and love, usually towards another person. The word “fall” can be used interchangeably to destroy or build. It builds families when the seeds fall to the ground and grow food to feed communities. The wheat falls to the ground, dies, and remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Individuals usually focus on the negative side of the fall.

Ironical when a waterfall forms the top hill, we lose our minds admiring the beauty of nature. There is a strong belief that waterfalls work worders. We all know that the sound of water is highly soothing. Waterfalls increase this sound, hearing water splashing down the waterfall into the pond below. This is proven to have a relaxing effect on the body, which inevitably improves our mental health. The Japanese Takigyo, the waterfall training/meditation. It is practiced widely by many throughout Japan. The objective of Takigyo is to cleanse one’s mind, body and soul through a Buddhism purification ritual. Across the world, a similar practice has been adopted as part of cleansing, mental training and self-discovery. Science supports Japanese practice, which is why we should love waterfalls. The science has proven that a waterfall releases negative ions, and when we are near them, we soak those ions up as positive energy. Once they enter our bloodstream, our serotonin production is increased, making us naturally happier.

Waterfalls stimulate three senses at the same time. Firstly, sight. There is nothing quite like a waterfall, and I know that I could sit and watch a waterfall for hours if I was able to. The way waterfalls are so accessible and easy and inevitable. There is no pattern, and even though our eyes constantly search for patterns in everything, we will never really find one in a waterfall. So, our sense of sight is stimulated.

Second, hearing. A waterfall can roar like a jet engine or tinkle like the bells on a Christmas Tree. Either way, you hear a waterfall as much as you see it, and more often than not, you hear it long before you actually see it. The sense of hearing excites you and has your blood pumping, longing for that moment when you first SEE it.

Third, smell. This is not one that is often thought of, but it is true. The smell of a waterfall is so fresh and alluring. The water is clean, and the way it falls through the air is akin to fresh rainfall; we all love the smell of rain. This sense is most likely tingled by the most basic of human instincts that has us constantly seeking fresh water. After all, it is the elixir of life, and we rely on it to live.

Some call waterfall water therapy or aquatic therapy. Waterfalls are said to symbolise the process of letting go, cleansing and the continuous flow of energy and life. So, a waterfall in your dream can highlight the importance of letting go of the negative thoughts that have become lodged in your mind. Water is one of the four elements, a symbol that connects with our spirit, so a waterfall becomes something that purifies and washes away negative energy,

The water from the waterfall doesn’t stop in the big fall. It moves on and finds another fall to clean and renew itself. This is what we call a Waterfall “FALL” Model, and this model aims to emulate the waterfall by moving on and finding another fall to clean itself and renew itself again.


Free Achieve Life Living

Free: Let go is reinvesting yourself and removing yourself from what is holding you back. Like aquatic therapy, this promotes renewal and cleansing, leading to mental health and self-discovery. Just like water from the waterfall doesn’t stop in the big fall. It moves on and finds another fall to clean and renew itself. We must always let go so we can get renewed in the next big fall.

Achieve: Goals are always there. However, along the way, we lose it. The concept of achieving reminds us of the connection with our spirit, a new start in a clean environment with positive thoughts, changes (reset) goals setting new seeds. This helps us to refocus on our dreams and goals, and achievements stimulate us not to lose sight of our dreams and goals. You connect with your dreams and goals by freeing your mind and reflecting on your achievement.

Life: No one can tell the actual definition of the meaning of life. For some, it’s all about happiness, building a family, and leading life as it is. For some, it is about accumulating wealth; for others, it is all about love. In all, it is about taking action. This is an Act of watering the seeds, trusting the process, CONFIDENCE, FORGIVENESS, EMPOWERED, EQUIPPED, MATURITY. In life, you need to take action and create value for others.

Living is about self-fulfilment, realizing one’s deepest desires and capacities. The history of this concept can be traced to Ancient Greek philosophers, and it remains a unique concept in modern philosophy. This is more rewarding than achieving the goal. It is about realizing your desires and creating capacities for others.

The FALL Model teaches us to renew ourselves when we find challenges. We need to emulate the waterfall by moving on and finding another fall to clean ourselves and renew again. 



The Teacher’s Kid – Fail

“Failure if success in-progress” Albert Einstein and “We learn from failure, not from success” Bram Stoker

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I’m the teacher’s kid, and my mother was a perfectionist. I experience failure at a very early age. I was doing my first year at school, I was five years old, and my mother made me repeat the class. She was convinced I failed since I passed as number 95 out of 100 students in the class. This was my first taste of failure, and it was painful seeing my friends go to the next grade. The 2nd taste of failure was two years later when I was doing my grade 2. I had to change schools due to political violence, and I joined the new school late, resulting to my 2nd taste failure in grade 2. In both failures, I learned that failure is success in progress.

Susan Fishman wrote an article on 4 Lessons to Draw From Failure. If you’re human, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced failure at some point in your life. It pretty much comes with the territory. Accepting that failure is inevitable is one thing. Learning from failure and moving past it is another — especially when the failure is fresh. For many, learning from a failure takes time and perspective. But when we can look at our failures from a place of curiosity, they can be our greatest teachers, says clinical psychologist Dr Shauna Pollard. The article introduced four lessons from failure:

1. Emotional intelligence (EQ)

Failing comes with a range of emotions. When you fail, you might feel:

  • guilty for letting people down
  • relieved you don’t have to complete such a big task anymore
  • nervous to have to try again
  • anxious, or have anticipation about the future and what it might mean to try again
  • ashamed for failing, especially if you feel pressure from friends or family to succeed
  • disappointed in yourself because you had higher expectations for yourself
  • grateful that you had the experience and to be able to learn from it

Failures can bring a greater sense of emotional awareness. You might have felt sad, or the many emotions that come with failure, for a long time, explains Katie Ziskind, marriage and family therapist and trauma specialist in Niantic, Connecticut. “It might also help you develop a sense of self-love,” Ziskand adds, as you might need to listen and respond compassionately to yourself or perhaps manage unrealistic expectations.

2. Humility

When you fail, most folks often have to ask for help, which can be a lesson in humility and an opportunity to grow on an interpersonal level. A 2020 studyTrusted Source of full-time employees found that intrinsic motivation and self-determination predict learning from failures. This in turn, leads to enhanced self-development. The research found a combination of internal motivation and determination means employees who are more dedicated to their jobs and get satisfaction from learning new skills are more likely to utilize feedback from failures to improve their performance and productivity. The study also found that managers can help employees learn from failure through caring and compassionate leadership.

“It can be cathartic to fail because it puts you in a humble position, at the bottom of the ladder,” notes Ziskand, “where you can embrace a beginner’s mindset. Realizing you don’t know much, or need help from a teacher to learn more about a given area or skill set, can be helpful for growing humility.”

3. Resiliency

Failing can teach you how to bounce back. It could help you discover you won’t fall apart. You have what it takes to get back up and go at it again. These sentiments are fruits of resilence. Recognizing when you are failing and picking yourself up from there is a crucial skill in overcoming the failure itself,” says Ziskind.

In her book, “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead,” Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston who studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, talks about the importance of learning from failure at a young age.

4. Empathy

To overcome failure, it’s essential to understand that it’s a part of being human, notes Ziskind. “A failure can make you want to quit and can paralyze some people,” she notes. Failure presents an opportunity to develop and practice the skill of emotional resiliency

A typical response to failure is self-blame or an attempt to gain something positive from experience. But it’s important to approach failure with empathy, giving yourself the understanding that it’s OK to fail.  You can learn to accept setbacks by reminding yourself that life is messy, and you are not meant to be perfect. It’s important to separate failure as a process from how we view ourselves as individuals, adds Pollard, who works on reframing with many of her clients. “We are not failures, even though we may have failed at a task,” she notes.

The 4 Lessons of failure illustrate the deeper meaning of the word F.A.I.L – Future Acquiring Important Lessons.

Future – is an outcome of our past failures that taught us an important lesson about life and developed the emotional intelligence required in life.

Acquiring – is the way of finding the solution and teaching you how to bounce back. It could help you discover you won’t fall apart. You have what it takes to get back up and go at it again. These sentiments are fruits of resilience.

Important – is the significant lesson of humility. Realizing you don’t know much, or need help from a teacher to learn more about a given area or skill set, can be helpful for growing humility.

Lesson – A period of learning. A typical response to failure is self-blame or an attempt to gain something positive from experience. But it’s important to approach failure with empathy, giving yourself the understanding that it’s OK to fail.  You can learn to accept setbacks by reminding yourself that life is messy, and you are not meant to be perfect.



“Well, with prophecy you got to see what happens” George Noory

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Prophecy is a prediction of what will happen in the future. What is the biblical difference between vision and prophecy?

  • A vision is a supernatural revelation of God given to a person in the form of a dream or trance-like state usually for the purpose of revealing the glory of God or the meaning of past or future events.
  • Prophecy is any supernatural revelation of God regardless of form. We could say all visions are prophecy, but not all prophecy comes in the form of visions.

Our VISIONS are our prophecies

  • V – Visualize: see picture of what could be
  • I – Internalize: see yourself achieving it
  • S – Strategize: what is the plan
  • I – Initiate: Start doing the work, stop waiting
  • O – Outcome: Review the result and improve
  • N – New look: Change in your life and others

Most prophecies use number seven, since seven is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things. Seven is God’s favorite number. Throughout the Bible (from Genesis to Revelation), the number seven appears many times. Seven is used 735 times in the Holy Bible. In the Book of Revelation, seven is used 54 times.

The author Robin Sharma use God favorite number seven to explain the wealth in line with biblical wealth meaning (The Seven Forms Of Wealth). Wealth from God’s standpoint is not limited to currency. Rich men and women are often miserable. Their bank accounts may be overflowing but their souls are impoverished. Biblical wealth may be defined as the ability to experience and enjoy God’s blessings. By focusing on each of the seven elements of wealth you experience real wealth, complete and achieve the perfection of your Prophecy.


Your Prophet will be realized through The Seven Forms Of Wealth:

  1. Inner Wealth: This includes a positive mindset, high self – respect, internal peace and a strong spiritual connection.
  • Physical Wealth: Your health is your wealth. What’s the point of getting to a great place in your career if you get sick doing it? Why be the best businessperson in the hospital ward? Why be the richest person in the graveyard?
  • Family and Social Wealth: When your family life is happy, you will perform better at work. No one gets to the end of their life and regrets making their family their first priority. Related to this is the imperative of forgoing deep connections with friends and members of your personal community (including mentors, role models and trusted advisors).
  • Career Wealth: Actualizing your highest potential by reaching for your best in your career is incredibly important. Getting to greatness in your profession brings a feeling of satisfaction on a job well done. It helps you make your mark, being world class in your work is so good for your self – respect.
  • Economic Wealth: Yes, money is important. Not the most important thing in life but very important. It absolutely makes life easier and better: Money allows you to live in a nice home, take beautiful vacations and provide well for those you love. And as Yvon Chouinard, the founder of the outdoor gear company Patagonia, has said: “The more I make, the more I can give away.”
  • Adventure Wealth: To be fulfilled, each of us needs mystery in our lives. Challenge is necessary for happiness. The human brain craves novelty. And we are creative beings so we need to be creating constantly if we hope to feel joy. Lots of adventure (ranging from meeting new people to visiting new places) is an essential element of authentic wealth.
  • Impact Wealth: Perhaps the deepest longing of the human heart is to live fro something greater than itself. Each of us craves to be significant. To make a difference. To know that the world has somehow been better because we have walked the planet. Think of what Richard Bach once wrote: “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.”


Queen at The Throne – DCO Principle

By Dr Emmanuel Imevbore

“Eagles come in all shapes and sizes, but you will recognise them chiefly by their attitudes” (Charles Prestwich Scott).

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After a while, I had a coaching session, and my coach introduced the concept of significance. The concept emphasizes continually helping other people to achieve their respective goals and aspirations and being helped to be successful. The concept of significance led to my coach telling me this inspirational story of Queen, which is based on the “DCO” principle.

This is the inspirational story of a lady called Queen who overcame great personal limitations and inhibitions to achieve desires that would remain pipe dreams for some people. It is the story of an individual who embarked on a fancy journey by developing herself from being an office cleaner to becoming a company’s top executive. Queen was also blessed with colleagues, as well as a managing director and a professional coach who all supported her in her success journey.

Queen, the lady in this story, obviously did so much to make the most of the opportunities she was presented with, and in the process achieved her lofty goals, despite her many challenges. May the story inspire you as much as it has inspired several others that have heard it, as well as it continues to inspire my coach presentation of “DCO”, a coaching model that he developed based on the story of Queen. “DCO” stands for “Desire”, “Capacity” and “Opportunity”. 

Simply put, the important message of DCO is that you must have a strong personal desire that would inspire and motivate you to build the capacity to be the best that you can be. And, that if you commit to building the capacity, the opportunity to display that personal genius and unique knowledge would definitely present itself. The beginning is however having a strong personal desire. That is the moral of this story. Now to the inspirational story of the Queen below.   

In 2004, I was invited to facilitate a team-building programme at a top South African company. One of the first things we did when we started the programme was to make each person choose a ‘power name’ formed from the first letter of his or her first name. Therefore, a gentleman called Alvin decided to call himself “Anointed Alvin” and a lady named Candice became known as “Candid Candice”. Another person named Graham became nicknamed “Great Graham”.

While the team activities were going on, I observed that the office cleaner, a lady called Queen was not invited to participate in the team building programme. Instead, she was tasked with cleaning up our mess and bringing us snacks or any other thing that we needed. Perhaps because she was a mere cleaner, she was not considered fit to be a real team member. 

When I asked the Chief Executive Officer of the company why the lady was not invited to join us, he looked surprised for a while. Later, he said that he would invite her to participate if I insisted. Of course, I insisted and she joined us. I must admit here that I have previously never made such a request or even insisted that my request be granted. On reflection, this was an inspired decision as later events would prove. 

Anyhow, the lady was called and asked to join the team building programme. On settling down to sit among her ‘superiors’, Queen the cleaner now had to choose a power name for herself. For a while, it seemed such a Herculean task, considering the fact that forming a word with the letter “Q” is not very easy. Eventually, our new addition to the programme blurted out excitedly her power name. She chose to be called, and confidently expressed the desire to be known from that day as “Queenly Queen”! 

Immediately I saw the excitement all over her, I felt the urge to seize the moment and support Queen to think creatively. After all, if she appreciates who a real queen is and understands the power that resides in a queen, she may be able to see herself beyond being a cleaner and tea-girl. She may possibly be able to take decisions based on creative thinking. And that was exactly what happened to “Queenly Queen” that day. 

I challenged her to sit like a queen and to see every other person in the room as her subjects – her workers. I then asked her to close her eyes and visualise herself as the Chief Executive Officer, putting herself right there on his seat as the head of the organisation. As if propelled by some unexplainable force, Queen smiled contentedly and nodded with supreme understanding as she now sat like a queen on an imaginary throne. Queen was being transformed before our very eyes.  

When I observed her body language and energy movement, I chose to track that energy flow by inviting her to make some decisions that would reposition the company, especially by empowering people to be more proactive and resilient in lead generation and closing of deals.

None of us was adequately prepared for the response that we received from Queen, who in her “queenly state” made some suggestions that have helped shape the organisation’s expansion programme. In her mind, she spoke not as a cleaner, but as a queen. 

This was totally unplanned, yet she spoke so eloquently and confidently, with so much knowledge and conviction that she received, not just a rousing applause, but lots of hugs from virtually every team member. Even with her limited educational background and professional knowledge, it seemed like Queen had done so much personal thinking and even possibly some research on how to reposition the company. 

Moreover, it appeared that she was just praying for the opportunity to share her thoughts and express her knowledge, even if considered limited. All that Queen wanted and desired was an opportunity to be heard by people who would believe in her, and possibly encourage her to think bigger and more creatively. She had the desire and the opportunity came along for her. 

That was how Queen’s transformation began. From that day, she saw herself, not as a cleaner, but as a queen, trying to make her place of operation more conducive for productive work. And, as her attitude to work changed, so did her self-esteem and personal perception also change. Soon, Queen began to take private studies with her little pay, and was able to pass some basic exams. 

Her boss also noticed her strong desire for self-development and promoted her, in addition to enrolling her for some professional courses. Subsequently, Queen became a manager of one of the organisation’s branches, eventually becoming an executive director of the same organisation. Queen, the single mother and cleaner of some years back, is happily married and a professional who has remained one of my clients. 

I have told the story of “Queenly Queen” in several places that I have had the opportunity to facilitate capacity-building training. The reason is to let organisational leaders realise that, although they can train their personnel to have skills, they cannot teach them to change their attitudes, perceptions, beliefs, trust level, desires and thought processes. The responsibility of attitudinal and perception change rests with the individual concerned. 

Importantly, what never fails to inspire such a change in the personnel is the process of coaching. In this process, the coach skillfully assists in focusing the client’s mind on the benefits and gains of making informed decisions. 

These decisions are about what needs to change and why, when, and how those changes would be made. The coach in this process invites the client to play movies of the future in his or her mind. And, as long as the mind can conceive the possibilities, it would begin to see real opportunities, even in tough situations. 

That is what happened to Queen. She conceived it in her mind, and because she saw the possibilities, the opportunities came for her as she made up her mind to desire something better for herself. 

The fact that Queen was able to overcome her circumstances also owed much to the fact that she had a boss who became her coach-leader and mentor. He believed in her abilities and worked hard to see that her potentials were unlocked, as the real person emerged. Apart from that, many of Queen’s colleagues must also have been very supportive of her. 

There is no doubt that there are such “Queens” in every organisation, with the desire to grow to levels that they can contribute more to their team. Team coaching, which focuses on making individual team members understand their roles, importance and responsibilities has the opportunities of unveiling people like Queen in the workplace.

The story illustrates the “DCO” principle:

Desire: The drive of the dream is a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. Queen imagine herself at the throne and her Desire to be on the throne. All that Queen wanted and desired was an opportunity to be heard by people who would believe in her, and possibly encourage her to think bigger and more creatively. She had the desire and the opportunity came along for her.

Capacity: Make (someone) capable of a particular action or legally competent to act in a particular way. The reason is to let organisational leaders realise that, although they can train their personnel to have skills, they cannot teach them to change their attitudes, perceptions, beliefs, trust level, desires and thought processes. It’s Queen’s self-development that made organizational leaders to invest in her. 

Opportunity: An appropriate or favorable time or occasion. A situation or condition favorable for the attainment of a goal. A good position, chance, or prospect, as for advancement or success. The fact that Queen was able to overcome her circumstances also owed much to the fact that she had a boss who became her coach-leader and mentor. He believed in her abilities and worked hard to see that her potentials were unlocked, as the real person emerged. Her boss gave her an Opportunity.

This is the application of “The DCO principle”. Queen had a Desire to be on the throne. She capacitated herself to ensure that is ready for any opportunity. When the opportunity was given to her, she performed because of coaching, mentorship and development. Queen is now at the throne.

For more life-changing principles like AVELA, Circles of influence & Control, the four essentials that motivate performance in people, GROW model, the 4 C’s Model, the 5 D’s of Good hand and 4-Step action (4D’s), visit https://ic-mi.com/life-coaching/


Emmanuel Imevbore

The True Measure of Life – DREAM

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DESIRE of future REALITY obtained from invested ENERGY to ATTAIN your true-life MEASURE

I was closing the gate when I overhead two kids arguing about who has the best dream. The child with a black hoodie said I will have many cars and a big, beautiful house. The child with a white T-shirt responded by saying, I will have a lot of money to buy anything I want. I laughed and walked away, the kids continued with their argument. 

I entered the house and closed the door. I started to think about the kid’s argument and asked myself what stopped us from being so bold about our dreams. In their argument they used “will” as a commanding word, meaning there are sure it will happen. What made these kids to be so confident? I once had that a man without a dream is good as dead, does it mean if do not have a dream you’re dead?  Suzy Kassem said, “a heart without dreams is like a bird without feathers”. The dreams make life fulfilling and fly like a bird.  They are a lot of articles and studies done on the concept of DREAM. They emphasize the importance of having a dream, Walt Disney said if you can dream it, you can achieve it. I concluded that the kids were so confident because of the DREAM. The article by Mathew Walker shares few things about dreaming, one of the things is that dreaming enhances creativity and problem-solving.

The articles and studies also emphasize the importance of taking action to make your dream a reality. In the word DREAM, I noticed that it has a phrase that try to explain the word DREAM. The phrase is “DESIRE of future REALITY obtained from invested ENERGY to ATTAIN your true life MEASURE”.

This means if you invest your energy in your desire, your future goals can be your reality and live life with purpose.

When I was writing this blog, I also came across the life coaching method called DREAM used to guide individuals back to their true life desires. The coaching method breakdown DREAM into 5 steps:

  1. Desire: The things you really want, what impact you want to have and what is your ultimate goal.
  2. Reality: Your current status vs your future status.
  3. Energy: How much effort is required to close the gap between current status and future goals. Tools needed to achieve your goals.
  4. Attain: It action plan is broken down into smaller tasks detailing steps to achieve your ultimate goals and implementation of the action plan.
  5. Measure: Reviewing your progress, rewards or rewarding yourself and the impact made to you and others.

What is your true life measure that will change your life and others?



Hiking and Waterfall lesson – TRAIL

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Nature will teach you a lot of things about life if you are observant. I have adopted hiking as one of my hobbies. I’ve noticed that most of my hiking trails have a waterfall at the end and the tougher the hiking trail the greater the waterfall experience. I have learned a few things during my hiking trails:

  1. It is very important to follow the route, some people have walked this route before, and it will take you to your destination. This applies to a real-life situation, some people have been walking the same journey and it is important to use they are route to success.   
  2. You must not rush so that you will not miss the signs. Even in real-life situations, we do experience signs (gutfeel), and we must not ignore them. They are part of nature guiding you to your success.
  3. The best waterfall view is always on the longest route and rough, but it is worth it. To simplify it, hard work always pays off (fortune favours the bold).
  4. Always try to find support, so that you will not slip and fall. Get a mentor or coach to give you support and encouragement in your journey to your success.
  5. Enjoy your hiking journey so that you will embrace the lesson. While you are working hard for your future success, enjoy it, so that you will remember the learnings of your hard work.
  6. Use the waterfall as a reward and resting station. So you can recharge for the way back. Always celebrate your small achievement and reward yourself for your hard work.

This is the way of life, follow the trail of the successful people, they live clues. The journey may be rough and long but is always rewarding in the end. Lastly, always celebrate your achievement. The TRAIL is part of the way of life, it teaches the following:

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  • Teamwork: Hiking as a team, simplify the route and you have a team to motivate you during the trail. In life, you need to build a team of people that will support you, motivate you and consult during difficult times.
  • Respect: Hiking teaches you respect, as you walk the route, you respect everyone that has completed the trail. You must respect the people that have worked hard for their success. The journey to success is not easy.
  • Accountability: You are personally accountable for your safety and returning back to the station point during the trail. You are responsible and accountable for the decision you take to achieve your desire.
  • Integrity: Have completed the hiking trail, all the people starting the trail look at you with the eyes of strong moral principles. Your accomplishment in life builds your integrity in the eyes of the many.
  • Leadership: The hiking trail gives you direction to the waterfall’s best view. This skill is critical in life to provide direction in the journey to success. Hiking teaches you the skill of providing direction for the benefit of others.

Time The Life Currency

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I was watching a movie last night called “In Time”, the storyline is based on the narrative of time as a currency. All employees get paid with time, that met the richer you are, the more time to live. The rich population lived in a different time zone from the working class.

This has made me think, what if time was a currency of life? The concept of earning more time to live come from good deeds, respect, a helping hand, caring and positive life. This concept is based on the bible 5thcommandment: honor your father and mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. The simplified version states Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.” 

If you were to conduct introspection, how much time you will have if the time currency concept was a reality. Who do you help with time to live longer and how disciplined will you be with your time, if time was a currency of life?  A wise man links this concept of time as a currency of life narrative to Lord works from the inside out and the change of human nature. Respecting and caring about yourself will result in caring for others. This means you will earn more time in the process. If T.I.M.E is life currency, what will this mean?

Treasure: A quantity of precious metals and wealth. Time is a treasure in the concept of time as a currency of life and will give you an opportunity to serve and care for others.

Integrity: The state of being whole and undivided is imported. To me being whole means keeping your promises and doing the right thing. The right thing is good deeds, respect, a helping hand, caring and positive life. Having integrity will earn you time and be rich in the concept of time as a currency of life.

Maestro: Someone who is skilled enough to be considered an artistic genius. Maestro is reserved for people with an enormous amount of skill and talent. With the skill and talent, you can help others and promote positive life. Your skill and talent can earn you time and be rich in the concept of time as a currency of life.

Earn: To receive as return for effort and especially for work done or services rendered. All your good deeds, respect, helping hand and caring will earn you return for effort, as per commandment promise: “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”

How rich are you in the concept of time as a currency of life?

All efforts have results – Reward

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There is no effort without results. Ask married couples trying to get a baby, they may not have the baby at the time they want, babies are God Gifts, but they are relationship becomes stronger.

We live in a world that is moving at a fast speed and we want results now. I may agree with the argument that results are the most important things to our lives with reservations. We only think of results as a positive outcome, however, results can be a negative outcome. That is why most coaching methods promote the effort of recognition since positive results are not guaranteed. Effort creates an information base data that will help you to improve or correct your results. If you only focus on the results, you will get positive results by luck and that is a short-term solution. Sometimes the results can be negative but if you review your efforts information base data, they are actually positive in the long term or in the other expect of life.

Results are not so straightforward, results tend to be more measurable and visible in most cases. However great effort will require that we as individuals have more insight and show more interest in our self-daily activities. However, there are three good reasons why we should do it anyway, even if it’s more demanding on us.

  1. The effort is not reliant on luck- While good results may be due to luck, great effort is always due to individual talents and attitude – and those individuals who consistently demonstrate and improve skills should clearly be recognized and celebrated.
  2. A strong effort will – in the long run – always lead to better results. It’s no good if we only optimize for this short-term result. We are optimizing for the next 20- or 30-year results.
  3. We avoid suboptimization
  4. If we only recognize our results, we’re creating a culture in which we’ll do anything to obtain results – instead of doing what’s right for ourselves and the long term targets of our lives. If I only get rewards for achieving targets, why on earth should I spend time and effort helping others?

Short term results will mislead you, while the long-term results based on efforts will reward you for life. The word REWARD carries the great wisdom:

Resilience: Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes. Resilience provides a foundation to focus on the principles of recognizing the efforts. 

Endurance: Endurance is needed for godly living because few things about life are easy. While we shouldn’t face each day with grim determination, we need something to carry us. Life requires a sustained determination to remain strong and faithful — step-by-step, day by day, and moment by moment. Endurance carries you through the negative result while perusing lifelong and sustainable results.

Willpower: Willpower isn’t something you have or something you lack. It rises and falls and while it’s impossible to maximize your willpower for every moment of every day, it is possible to make a few changes to your day and your routine so that you can get the most of your decisions and make consistent progress on the things that are important to you. The willpower will boost your efforts information base data approach and first track path to achieving lifelong and sustainable results.

Ambition: Ambition is the strong desire to achieve a goal. Ambitious people are tenacious, determined and pursue their efforts with hard work. Successful people use their determination and translate it into turning their dreams into reality. Ambition is the drive to get what you want in life and see those goals through from start to finish. Ambition is the hunger for achieving the goal and staying determined to pursue long-life goals and sustainable results. 

Resourcefulness: Being resourceful is the ability to find and use available resources to solve problems and achieve goals. And there is no more important trait to possess than resourcefulness in the pursuit of success in data science, and life. The efforts of information base data become a resourceful tool in enhancing the long-life goals and sustainable results.

Discipline: Self-discipline is one of the most important and useful skills. A disciplined person is more punctual than other people. Such a person is more likely to take control and responsibility for his or her life. He or she can set goals and take concrete steps to achieve them. The disciplined approach provides controls to achieving long-life goals and sustainable results.

Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort – Paul J. Meyer.