The Teacher’s Kid – Fail

“Failure if success in-progress” Albert Einstein and “We learn from failure, not from success” Bram Stoker

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I’m the teacher’s kid, and my mother was a perfectionist. I experience failure at a very early age. I was doing my first year at school, I was five years old, and my mother made me repeat the class. She was convinced I failed since I passed as number 95 out of 100 students in the class. This was my first taste of failure, and it was painful seeing my friends go to the next grade. The 2nd taste of failure was two years later when I was doing my grade 2. I had to change schools due to political violence, and I joined the new school late, resulting to my 2nd taste failure in grade 2. In both failures, I learned that failure is success in progress.

Susan Fishman wrote an article on 4 Lessons to Draw From Failure. If you’re human, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced failure at some point in your life. It pretty much comes with the territory. Accepting that failure is inevitable is one thing. Learning from failure and moving past it is another — especially when the failure is fresh. For many, learning from a failure takes time and perspective. But when we can look at our failures from a place of curiosity, they can be our greatest teachers, says clinical psychologist Dr Shauna Pollard. The article introduced four lessons from failure:

1. Emotional intelligence (EQ)

Failing comes with a range of emotions. When you fail, you might feel:

  • guilty for letting people down
  • relieved you don’t have to complete such a big task anymore
  • nervous to have to try again
  • anxious, or have anticipation about the future and what it might mean to try again
  • ashamed for failing, especially if you feel pressure from friends or family to succeed
  • disappointed in yourself because you had higher expectations for yourself
  • grateful that you had the experience and to be able to learn from it

Failures can bring a greater sense of emotional awareness. You might have felt sad, or the many emotions that come with failure, for a long time, explains Katie Ziskind, marriage and family therapist and trauma specialist in Niantic, Connecticut. “It might also help you develop a sense of self-love,” Ziskand adds, as you might need to listen and respond compassionately to yourself or perhaps manage unrealistic expectations.

2. Humility

When you fail, most folks often have to ask for help, which can be a lesson in humility and an opportunity to grow on an interpersonal level. A 2020 studyTrusted Source of full-time employees found that intrinsic motivation and self-determination predict learning from failures. This in turn, leads to enhanced self-development. The research found a combination of internal motivation and determination means employees who are more dedicated to their jobs and get satisfaction from learning new skills are more likely to utilize feedback from failures to improve their performance and productivity. The study also found that managers can help employees learn from failure through caring and compassionate leadership.

“It can be cathartic to fail because it puts you in a humble position, at the bottom of the ladder,” notes Ziskand, “where you can embrace a beginner’s mindset. Realizing you don’t know much, or need help from a teacher to learn more about a given area or skill set, can be helpful for growing humility.”

3. Resiliency

Failing can teach you how to bounce back. It could help you discover you won’t fall apart. You have what it takes to get back up and go at it again. These sentiments are fruits of resilence. Recognizing when you are failing and picking yourself up from there is a crucial skill in overcoming the failure itself,” says Ziskind.

In her book, “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead,” Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston who studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, talks about the importance of learning from failure at a young age.

4. Empathy

To overcome failure, it’s essential to understand that it’s a part of being human, notes Ziskind. “A failure can make you want to quit and can paralyze some people,” she notes. Failure presents an opportunity to develop and practice the skill of emotional resiliency

A typical response to failure is self-blame or an attempt to gain something positive from experience. But it’s important to approach failure with empathy, giving yourself the understanding that it’s OK to fail.  You can learn to accept setbacks by reminding yourself that life is messy, and you are not meant to be perfect. It’s important to separate failure as a process from how we view ourselves as individuals, adds Pollard, who works on reframing with many of her clients. “We are not failures, even though we may have failed at a task,” she notes.

The 4 Lessons of failure illustrate the deeper meaning of the word F.A.I.L – Future Acquiring Important Lessons.

Future – is an outcome of our past failures that taught us an important lesson about life and developed the emotional intelligence required in life.

Acquiring – is the way of finding the solution and teaching you how to bounce back. It could help you discover you won’t fall apart. You have what it takes to get back up and go at it again. These sentiments are fruits of resilience.

Important – is the significant lesson of humility. Realizing you don’t know much, or need help from a teacher to learn more about a given area or skill set, can be helpful for growing humility.

Lesson – A period of learning. A typical response to failure is self-blame or an attempt to gain something positive from experience. But it’s important to approach failure with empathy, giving yourself the understanding that it’s OK to fail.  You can learn to accept setbacks by reminding yourself that life is messy, and you are not meant to be perfect.


“Well, with prophecy you got to see what happens” George Noory

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Prophecy is a prediction of what will happen in the future. What is the biblical difference between vision and prophecy?

  • A vision is a supernatural revelation of God given to a person in the form of a dream or trance-like state usually for the purpose of revealing the glory of God or the meaning of past or future events.
  • Prophecy is any supernatural revelation of God regardless of form. We could say all visions are prophecy, but not all prophecy comes in the form of visions.

Our VISIONS are our prophecies

  • V – Visualize: see picture of what could be
  • I – Internalize: see yourself achieving it
  • S – Strategize: what is the plan
  • I – Initiate: Start doing the work, stop waiting
  • O – Outcome: Review the result and improve
  • N – New look: Change in your life and others

Most prophecies use number seven, since seven is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things. Seven is God’s favorite number. Throughout the Bible (from Genesis to Revelation), the number seven appears many times. Seven is used 735 times in the Holy Bible. In the Book of Revelation, seven is used 54 times.

The author Robin Sharma use God favorite number seven to explain the wealth in line with biblical wealth meaning (The Seven Forms Of Wealth). Wealth from God’s standpoint is not limited to currency. Rich men and women are often miserable. Their bank accounts may be overflowing but their souls are impoverished. Biblical wealth may be defined as the ability to experience and enjoy God’s blessings. By focusing on each of the seven elements of wealth you experience real wealth, complete and achieve the perfection of your Prophecy.


Your Prophet will be realized through The Seven Forms Of Wealth:

  1. Inner Wealth: This includes a positive mindset, high self – respect, internal peace and a strong spiritual connection.
  • Physical Wealth: Your health is your wealth. What’s the point of getting to a great place in your career if you get sick doing it? Why be the best businessperson in the hospital ward? Why be the richest person in the graveyard?
  • Family and Social Wealth: When your family life is happy, you will perform better at work. No one gets to the end of their life and regrets making their family their first priority. Related to this is the imperative of forgoing deep connections with friends and members of your personal community (including mentors, role models and trusted advisors).
  • Career Wealth: Actualizing your highest potential by reaching for your best in your career is incredibly important. Getting to greatness in your profession brings a feeling of satisfaction on a job well done. It helps you make your mark, being world class in your work is so good for your self – respect.
  • Economic Wealth: Yes, money is important. Not the most important thing in life but very important. It absolutely makes life easier and better: Money allows you to live in a nice home, take beautiful vacations and provide well for those you love. And as Yvon Chouinard, the founder of the outdoor gear company Patagonia, has said: “The more I make, the more I can give away.”
  • Adventure Wealth: To be fulfilled, each of us needs mystery in our lives. Challenge is necessary for happiness. The human brain craves novelty. And we are creative beings so we need to be creating constantly if we hope to feel joy. Lots of adventure (ranging from meeting new people to visiting new places) is an essential element of authentic wealth.
  • Impact Wealth: Perhaps the deepest longing of the human heart is to live fro something greater than itself. Each of us craves to be significant. To make a difference. To know that the world has somehow been better because we have walked the planet. Think of what Richard Bach once wrote: “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.”

Queen at The Throne – DCO Principle

By Dr Emmanuel Imevbore

“Eagles come in all shapes and sizes, but you will recognise them chiefly by their attitudes” (Charles Prestwich Scott).

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After a while, I had a coaching session, and my coach introduced the concept of significance. The concept emphasizes continually helping other people to achieve their respective goals and aspirations and being helped to be successful. The concept of significance led to my coach telling me this inspirational story of Queen, which is based on the “DCO” principle.

This is the inspirational story of a lady called Queen who overcame great personal limitations and inhibitions to achieve desires that would remain pipe dreams for some people. It is the story of an individual who embarked on a fancy journey by developing herself from being an office cleaner to becoming a company’s top executive. Queen was also blessed with colleagues, as well as a managing director and a professional coach who all supported her in her success journey.

Queen, the lady in this story, obviously did so much to make the most of the opportunities she was presented with, and in the process achieved her lofty goals, despite her many challenges. May the story inspire you as much as it has inspired several others that have heard it, as well as it continues to inspire my coach presentation of “DCO”, a coaching model that he developed based on the story of Queen. “DCO” stands for “Desire”, “Capacity” and “Opportunity”. 

Simply put, the important message of DCO is that you must have a strong personal desire that would inspire and motivate you to build the capacity to be the best that you can be. And, that if you commit to building the capacity, the opportunity to display that personal genius and unique knowledge would definitely present itself. The beginning is however having a strong personal desire. That is the moral of this story. Now to the inspirational story of the Queen below.   

In 2004, I was invited to facilitate a team-building programme at a top South African company. One of the first things we did when we started the programme was to make each person choose a ‘power name’ formed from the first letter of his or her first name. Therefore, a gentleman called Alvin decided to call himself “Anointed Alvin” and a lady named Candice became known as “Candid Candice”. Another person named Graham became nicknamed “Great Graham”.

While the team activities were going on, I observed that the office cleaner, a lady called Queen was not invited to participate in the team building programme. Instead, she was tasked with cleaning up our mess and bringing us snacks or any other thing that we needed. Perhaps because she was a mere cleaner, she was not considered fit to be a real team member. 

When I asked the Chief Executive Officer of the company why the lady was not invited to join us, he looked surprised for a while. Later, he said that he would invite her to participate if I insisted. Of course, I insisted and she joined us. I must admit here that I have previously never made such a request or even insisted that my request be granted. On reflection, this was an inspired decision as later events would prove. 

Anyhow, the lady was called and asked to join the team building programme. On settling down to sit among her ‘superiors’, Queen the cleaner now had to choose a power name for herself. For a while, it seemed such a Herculean task, considering the fact that forming a word with the letter “Q” is not very easy. Eventually, our new addition to the programme blurted out excitedly her power name. She chose to be called, and confidently expressed the desire to be known from that day as “Queenly Queen”! 

Immediately I saw the excitement all over her, I felt the urge to seize the moment and support Queen to think creatively. After all, if she appreciates who a real queen is and understands the power that resides in a queen, she may be able to see herself beyond being a cleaner and tea-girl. She may possibly be able to take decisions based on creative thinking. And that was exactly what happened to “Queenly Queen” that day. 

I challenged her to sit like a queen and to see every other person in the room as her subjects – her workers. I then asked her to close her eyes and visualise herself as the Chief Executive Officer, putting herself right there on his seat as the head of the organisation. As if propelled by some unexplainable force, Queen smiled contentedly and nodded with supreme understanding as she now sat like a queen on an imaginary throne. Queen was being transformed before our very eyes.  

When I observed her body language and energy movement, I chose to track that energy flow by inviting her to make some decisions that would reposition the company, especially by empowering people to be more proactive and resilient in lead generation and closing of deals.

None of us was adequately prepared for the response that we received from Queen, who in her “queenly state” made some suggestions that have helped shape the organisation’s expansion programme. In her mind, she spoke not as a cleaner, but as a queen. 

This was totally unplanned, yet she spoke so eloquently and confidently, with so much knowledge and conviction that she received, not just a rousing applause, but lots of hugs from virtually every team member. Even with her limited educational background and professional knowledge, it seemed like Queen had done so much personal thinking and even possibly some research on how to reposition the company. 

Moreover, it appeared that she was just praying for the opportunity to share her thoughts and express her knowledge, even if considered limited. All that Queen wanted and desired was an opportunity to be heard by people who would believe in her, and possibly encourage her to think bigger and more creatively. She had the desire and the opportunity came along for her. 

That was how Queen’s transformation began. From that day, she saw herself, not as a cleaner, but as a queen, trying to make her place of operation more conducive for productive work. And, as her attitude to work changed, so did her self-esteem and personal perception also change. Soon, Queen began to take private studies with her little pay, and was able to pass some basic exams. 

Her boss also noticed her strong desire for self-development and promoted her, in addition to enrolling her for some professional courses. Subsequently, Queen became a manager of one of the organisation’s branches, eventually becoming an executive director of the same organisation. Queen, the single mother and cleaner of some years back, is happily married and a professional who has remained one of my clients. 

I have told the story of “Queenly Queen” in several places that I have had the opportunity to facilitate capacity-building training. The reason is to let organisational leaders realise that, although they can train their personnel to have skills, they cannot teach them to change their attitudes, perceptions, beliefs, trust level, desires and thought processes. The responsibility of attitudinal and perception change rests with the individual concerned. 

Importantly, what never fails to inspire such a change in the personnel is the process of coaching. In this process, the coach skillfully assists in focusing the client’s mind on the benefits and gains of making informed decisions. 

These decisions are about what needs to change and why, when, and how those changes would be made. The coach in this process invites the client to play movies of the future in his or her mind. And, as long as the mind can conceive the possibilities, it would begin to see real opportunities, even in tough situations. 

That is what happened to Queen. She conceived it in her mind, and because she saw the possibilities, the opportunities came for her as she made up her mind to desire something better for herself. 

The fact that Queen was able to overcome her circumstances also owed much to the fact that she had a boss who became her coach-leader and mentor. He believed in her abilities and worked hard to see that her potentials were unlocked, as the real person emerged. Apart from that, many of Queen’s colleagues must also have been very supportive of her. 

There is no doubt that there are such “Queens” in every organisation, with the desire to grow to levels that they can contribute more to their team. Team coaching, which focuses on making individual team members understand their roles, importance and responsibilities has the opportunities of unveiling people like Queen in the workplace.

The story illustrates the “DCO” principle:

Desire: The drive of the dream is a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. Queen imagine herself at the throne and her Desire to be on the throne. All that Queen wanted and desired was an opportunity to be heard by people who would believe in her, and possibly encourage her to think bigger and more creatively. She had the desire and the opportunity came along for her.

Capacity: Make (someone) capable of a particular action or legally competent to act in a particular way. The reason is to let organisational leaders realise that, although they can train their personnel to have skills, they cannot teach them to change their attitudes, perceptions, beliefs, trust level, desires and thought processes. It’s Queen’s self-development that made organizational leaders to invest in her. 

Opportunity: An appropriate or favorable time or occasion. A situation or condition favorable for the attainment of a goal. A good position, chance, or prospect, as for advancement or success. The fact that Queen was able to overcome her circumstances also owed much to the fact that she had a boss who became her coach-leader and mentor. He believed in her abilities and worked hard to see that her potentials were unlocked, as the real person emerged. Her boss gave her an Opportunity.

This is the application of “The DCO principle”. Queen had a Desire to be on the throne. She capacitated herself to ensure that is ready for any opportunity. When the opportunity was given to her, she performed because of coaching, mentorship and development. Queen is now at the throne.

For more life-changing principles like AVELA, Circles of influence & Control, the four essentials that motivate performance in people, GROW model, the 4 C’s Model, the 5 D’s of Good hand and 4-Step action (4D’s), visit

Emmanuel Imevbore

The True Measure of Life – DREAM

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DESIRE of future REALITY obtained from invested ENERGY to ATTAIN your true-life MEASURE

I was closing the gate when I overhead two kids arguing about who has the best dream. The child with a black hoodie said I will have many cars and a big, beautiful house. The child with a white T-shirt responded by saying, I will have a lot of money to buy anything I want. I laughed and walked away, the kids continued with their argument. 

I entered the house and closed the door. I started to think about the kid’s argument and asked myself what stopped us from being so bold about our dreams. In their argument they used “will” as a commanding word, meaning there are sure it will happen. What made these kids to be so confident? I once had that a man without a dream is good as dead, does it mean if do not have a dream you’re dead?  Suzy Kassem said, “a heart without dreams is like a bird without feathers”. The dreams make life fulfilling and fly like a bird.  They are a lot of articles and studies done on the concept of DREAM. They emphasize the importance of having a dream, Walt Disney said if you can dream it, you can achieve it. I concluded that the kids were so confident because of the DREAM. The article by Mathew Walker shares few things about dreaming, one of the things is that dreaming enhances creativity and problem-solving.

The articles and studies also emphasize the importance of taking action to make your dream a reality. In the word DREAM, I noticed that it has a phrase that try to explain the word DREAM. The phrase is “DESIRE of future REALITY obtained from invested ENERGY to ATTAIN your true life MEASURE”.

This means if you invest your energy in your desire, your future goals can be your reality and live life with purpose.

When I was writing this blog, I also came across the life coaching method called DREAM used to guide individuals back to their true life desires. The coaching method breakdown DREAM into 5 steps:

  1. Desire: The things you really want, what impact you want to have and what is your ultimate goal.
  2. Reality: Your current status vs your future status.
  3. Energy: How much effort is required to close the gap between current status and future goals. Tools needed to achieve your goals.
  4. Attain: It action plan is broken down into smaller tasks detailing steps to achieve your ultimate goals and implementation of the action plan.
  5. Measure: Reviewing your progress, rewards or rewarding yourself and the impact made to you and others.

What is your true life measure that will change your life and others?

Hiking and Waterfall lesson – TRAIL

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Nature will teach you a lot of things about life if you are observant. I have adopted hiking as one of my hobbies. I’ve noticed that most of my hiking trails have a waterfall at the end and the tougher the hiking trail the greater the waterfall experience. I have learned a few things during my hiking trails:

  1. It is very important to follow the route, some people have walked this route before, and it will take you to your destination. This applies to a real-life situation, some people have been walking the same journey and it is important to use they are route to success.   
  2. You must not rush so that you will not miss the signs. Even in real-life situations, we do experience signs (gutfeel), and we must not ignore them. They are part of nature guiding you to your success.
  3. The best waterfall view is always on the longest route and rough, but it is worth it. To simplify it, hard work always pays off (fortune favours the bold).
  4. Always try to find support, so that you will not slip and fall. Get a mentor or coach to give you support and encouragement in your journey to your success.
  5. Enjoy your hiking journey so that you will embrace the lesson. While you are working hard for your future success, enjoy it, so that you will remember the learnings of your hard work.
  6. Use the waterfall as a reward and resting station. So you can recharge for the way back. Always celebrate your small achievement and reward yourself for your hard work.

This is the way of life, follow the trail of the successful people, they live clues. The journey may be rough and long but is always rewarding in the end. Lastly, always celebrate your achievement. The TRAIL is part of the way of life, it teaches the following:

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  • Teamwork: Hiking as a team, simplify the route and you have a team to motivate you during the trail. In life, you need to build a team of people that will support you, motivate you and consult during difficult times.
  • Respect: Hiking teaches you respect, as you walk the route, you respect everyone that has completed the trail. You must respect the people that have worked hard for their success. The journey to success is not easy.
  • Accountability: You are personally accountable for your safety and returning back to the station point during the trail. You are responsible and accountable for the decision you take to achieve your desire.
  • Integrity: Have completed the hiking trail, all the people starting the trail look at you with the eyes of strong moral principles. Your accomplishment in life builds your integrity in the eyes of the many.
  • Leadership: The hiking trail gives you direction to the waterfall’s best view. This skill is critical in life to provide direction in the journey to success. Hiking teaches you the skill of providing direction for the benefit of others.

Time The Life Currency

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I was watching a movie last night called “In Time”, the storyline is based on the narrative of time as a currency. All employees get paid with time, that met the richer you are, the more time to live. The rich population lived in a different time zone from the working class.

This has made me think, what if time was a currency of life? The concept of earning more time to live come from good deeds, respect, a helping hand, caring and positive life. This concept is based on the bible 5thcommandment: honor your father and mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. The simplified version states Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.” 

If you were to conduct introspection, how much time you will have if the time currency concept was a reality. Who do you help with time to live longer and how disciplined will you be with your time, if time was a currency of life?  A wise man links this concept of time as a currency of life narrative to Lord works from the inside out and the change of human nature. Respecting and caring about yourself will result in caring for others. This means you will earn more time in the process. If T.I.M.E is life currency, what will this mean?

Treasure: A quantity of precious metals and wealth. Time is a treasure in the concept of time as a currency of life and will give you an opportunity to serve and care for others.

Integrity: The state of being whole and undivided is imported. To me being whole means keeping your promises and doing the right thing. The right thing is good deeds, respect, a helping hand, caring and positive life. Having integrity will earn you time and be rich in the concept of time as a currency of life.

Maestro: Someone who is skilled enough to be considered an artistic genius. Maestro is reserved for people with an enormous amount of skill and talent. With the skill and talent, you can help others and promote positive life. Your skill and talent can earn you time and be rich in the concept of time as a currency of life.

Earn: To receive as return for effort and especially for work done or services rendered. All your good deeds, respect, helping hand and caring will earn you return for effort, as per commandment promise: “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”

How rich are you in the concept of time as a currency of life?

All efforts have results – Reward

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There is no effort without results. Ask married couples trying to get a baby, they may not have the baby at the time they want, babies are God Gifts, but they are relationship becomes stronger.

We live in a world that is moving at a fast speed and we want results now. I may agree with the argument that results are the most important things to our lives with reservations. We only think of results as a positive outcome, however, results can be a negative outcome. That is why most coaching methods promote the effort of recognition since positive results are not guaranteed. Effort creates an information base data that will help you to improve or correct your results. If you only focus on the results, you will get positive results by luck and that is a short-term solution. Sometimes the results can be negative but if you review your efforts information base data, they are actually positive in the long term or in the other expect of life.

Results are not so straightforward, results tend to be more measurable and visible in most cases. However great effort will require that we as individuals have more insight and show more interest in our self-daily activities. However, there are three good reasons why we should do it anyway, even if it’s more demanding on us.

  1. The effort is not reliant on luck- While good results may be due to luck, great effort is always due to individual talents and attitude – and those individuals who consistently demonstrate and improve skills should clearly be recognized and celebrated.
  2. A strong effort will – in the long run – always lead to better results. It’s no good if we only optimize for this short-term result. We are optimizing for the next 20- or 30-year results.
  3. We avoid suboptimization
  4. If we only recognize our results, we’re creating a culture in which we’ll do anything to obtain results – instead of doing what’s right for ourselves and the long term targets of our lives. If I only get rewards for achieving targets, why on earth should I spend time and effort helping others?

Short term results will mislead you, while the long-term results based on efforts will reward you for life. The word REWARD carries the great wisdom:

Resilience: Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes. Resilience provides a foundation to focus on the principles of recognizing the efforts. 

Endurance: Endurance is needed for godly living because few things about life are easy. While we shouldn’t face each day with grim determination, we need something to carry us. Life requires a sustained determination to remain strong and faithful — step-by-step, day by day, and moment by moment. Endurance carries you through the negative result while perusing lifelong and sustainable results.

Willpower: Willpower isn’t something you have or something you lack. It rises and falls and while it’s impossible to maximize your willpower for every moment of every day, it is possible to make a few changes to your day and your routine so that you can get the most of your decisions and make consistent progress on the things that are important to you. The willpower will boost your efforts information base data approach and first track path to achieving lifelong and sustainable results.

Ambition: Ambition is the strong desire to achieve a goal. Ambitious people are tenacious, determined and pursue their efforts with hard work. Successful people use their determination and translate it into turning their dreams into reality. Ambition is the drive to get what you want in life and see those goals through from start to finish. Ambition is the hunger for achieving the goal and staying determined to pursue long-life goals and sustainable results. 

Resourcefulness: Being resourceful is the ability to find and use available resources to solve problems and achieve goals. And there is no more important trait to possess than resourcefulness in the pursuit of success in data science, and life. The efforts of information base data become a resourceful tool in enhancing the long-life goals and sustainable results.

Discipline: Self-discipline is one of the most important and useful skills. A disciplined person is more punctual than other people. Such a person is more likely to take control and responsibility for his or her life. He or she can set goals and take concrete steps to achieve them. The disciplined approach provides controls to achieving long-life goals and sustainable results.

Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort – Paul J. Meyer.

The Man in The Corner- Challenge

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The man in the corner is fearless however the man in the comfort zone is in trouble.

I’ve had many stories about individuals that started a business after losing their jobs and end up becoming successful businessmen or businesswomen. When they tell their stories, they all say the same things. “I had nothing to lose” all of them they we in a state of fearless. The common word in all their stories is fearless. Fearless individuals are introspective of their own mental processes in that they feel the fear and do the thing anyway. Another common trait of the fearless is that they give themselves the leniency to be human. 

Dr.  Craig said “A fearless mind is achieved when we have cleansed ourselves of the barriers that prevent us from reaching our greatest potential. We do this by learning to accept what we have control over and what we don’t. Once we understand what our responsibility is and what isn’t, then we can channel all our energy into mastering those aspects that we have direct responsibility and not waste energy on those things that are not within our responsibility”.

Focusing on what you can control. It’s a cliché, but it’s true. It can also change your life. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” — Maya Angelou. If being fearless is about focusing on what you can control and removing all barriers that prevent us from reaching our greatest potential. Finding ways to enhance a fearless mindset which promote successful culture is the way to go. Anthony Mazzocchi says the are 14 Ways To Be Fearless and these methods have helped many people to be successful. Many of the methods I have used to prepare for huge performances have helped me to conquer fear in other areas of life.

Here’s how you can start overcoming fear:

  1. Be aware of fear in your life. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to admit that you have it. Perhaps fear is your “normal” state of being, and that is quite a bit to overcome all at once.  Write down some aspects of your life where have to fear;  getting them down on paper is important because trying to simply think them through never works.
  2. Stare at fearless people.  Fill your brain with images of what you want your “future self” to look like.  Connect with as many role models as you can, whether in person, through a book, or online.  Use these examples as an energy source to combat your fear.
  3. Be objective. Take an interest in investigating your fears. Ask yourself about what thoughts generate your fear, where you feel the fear, and how you react to it. Try to be an objective observer of your own life.
  4. Be willing to look stupid.  Remember:  Wayne Gretzky fell on his tail a ton, and Itzhak Perlman has had horrible performances.  Once you are willing to risk the emotional pain of making mistakes, you will shed more fear than you ever imagined.  Know that making mistakes will help you obtain the information you use to create the correct behaviors and that everyone who has ever done something great has failed more than once.
  5. Adopt a mindset of gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, try to feel grateful instead. I have been performing a lot of solos recently, and it is scary!  Instead of freaking out, I have decided to be grateful for the opportunity to communicate musically with so many people, and I know that they are there to genuinely listen to me play and root me on.
  6. Seek out, teachers.  It’s never too late to have a teacher; we are never done learning.  Seek out someone who scares you a little—not a polite person who always makes you feel warm and fuzzy.  Seek out someone who watches you closely, is brutally honest, and gives clear directions on how you can get better at whatever scares you.
  7. Share. How often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how others might react?  Sharing helps because you will realize that many people feel the same way as you do and have stories to share as well.  Do you have a fear of success or a fear of failure?  Sharing with someone can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from.
  8. Embrace struggle.  Most of us instinctively avoid struggle, because it feels like a failure, and that scares us, but the term “no pain, no gain” holds true.  To develop our skills, it is a necessity that we struggle with, so we must embrace it.  Once we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates.
  9. Read. My personal favorite. Reading a good book related to your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. I constantly fill my world with motivational and inspirational books on and related to, the topic I’m dealing with.
  10. Use visualization. Imagine yourself in a scary situation without fear. Watch people do things fearlessly that would normally freak you out.  Visualize yourself as that person.  Create a very clear picture of fearlessness in your mind.
  11. Put things in perspective. Putting your negative thoughts in perspective is a huge way to overcome fear. In the grand scheme of life, why are you afraid? While you are freaking out about something, life is moving on without you.  Sometimes it’s helpful to remember this.
  12. Release control. Of course, we want to be in control, but when we relinquish it we tend to free ourselves up.  Allow yourself to make mistakes—after all, that’s where learning and growth really happen.  We learn from our failures, but to fail we need to release control.
  13. Think about the worst-case scenario. What’s the worst that could happen? I have crumbled on stage in front of hundreds of people. My wife still loved me; I lived. Life goes on.
  14. Look within. What is the root of your fear? Meditate on it. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started: How far back does your fear go? Did you have an early failure that has stuck with you?  Explore it.  That’s what life is all about.

So if there is a way to be fearless and achieve all, what is stopping us to be fearless. We always wait to be pushed to a corner to start being fearless.  They say a man in the corner is fearless, however, the man in the comfort zone is in trouble.

When successful individual tells their stories, they say their comfort zone was holding them back. Your comfort zone is a place where you feel safe, comfortable and in control, but your abilities are not being tested, or you do not have anything new or different thing to do from your daily routine. Uma Kasoji said growth and success lie outside your comfort zone. “If you’re too comfortable, it’s time to move on. Terrified of what’s next? You’re on the right track.” — Susan Fales. What can move you out of your comfort zone? These are some of the examples, loss of income, losing your loved one, losing your support structure and more. All these are life challenges which we do not want to happen to us, however, they play an important role in moving us out of our comfort zone and becoming fearless in life. 

Challenges are important parts of life that give you experiences, make you learn and help you to become wiser and stronger. Challenges make us grow and shape us. Facing challenges and navigating one’s way through them builds resilience capacity. Knowing that one can overcome obstacles, learn from struggles and benefit from mistakes lays a solid foundation for success in later life.

It is important to embrace our challenges as they force us out of our comfort zone into fearless individuals. I know it is difficult to embrace a challenge but look at it’s as a catalyst to your success. The word CHALLENGE carry a lot of wisdom for self-development:

Courage: Discovering the ability to do something difficult to achieve, is one way to remove barriers, that is preventing us from the point of fearless. The challenges create a resilience mindset to find the courage of the Man in the corner.

Honor: Honor makes you recognize the importance of life. Once there is honor, there is righteousness and integrity. The privilege of recognizing the importance of life will help you see challenges in a positive light and shape you to be a Man in the corner.

Attitude:  Developing a positive settled way of thinking when facing challenges. This is one way of achieving your greatest potential and its impact on your work performance, relationships and everyone around you. This is what we call the Man in the corner attitude. 

Listen: Listening means paying attention not only to the story, but how it is told, the use of language and voice, and how the other person uses his or her body. In other words, it means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. The challenge has the capability of telling or sending a message. If you pay attention to the message that the challenge is communicating to you will discover the Man in the corner in, you. 

Learn:  Learning is essential to humanity. It’s so embedded in our lives that we rarely consider what it means. Learning is the process of gaining new skills, knowledge, understanding, and values. Challenges are embedded with live essential learning that creates wisdom of the Man in the corner. 

Effort: Effort teaches us that we can do more than we thought. We learn new skills and abilities when we take the time to put in consistent effort. Every new success that we achieve through our efforts increases our confidence in ourselves and our abilities. As we go through our challenges, the effort we put in increases our confidence in ourselves and our abilities. This teaches us the characteristics of the Man in the corner.

Now: “The Power of Now” is a spiritual self-help guide to help us discover our true Being, release our pain and find deep inner peace. When we are intensely present in the Now, we respond from deep consciousness and flow with ease and joy in life. In so doing, we can better fulfill our outer purpose by Eckhart Tolle. These are characteristics of the Man in the corner that have to find deep inner peace and fulfill our outer purpose.

Grow:  Grow this is the simple yet powerful technique and tools to improve our life. The tools present first, you decide where you are going (the goal) and establish where you currently are (your current reality). You then explore various routes (the options) to your destination. In the final step, establishing the will, you ensure that you’re committed to making the journey, and are prepared for the obstacles that you could meet on the way. The Man in the corner use these tools since they had nothing to lose, they establish their goal, recognize their reality, evaluate his/her options and adopt willpower. 

Empower: This is the process of empowerment concept used by coaches to enhance individuals to achieve their goals. This is one of the Man in corners technics to overcome his challenges by creating life balance. Emphasize – The issue presents the impact of it on different areas of life as per a life wheel and also how other areas of life are contributing to the issue. It allows understanding the width and breadth of the problem fully and completely. It also helps to bring to the surface the totality of the situation, this presents an opportunity to discover the real problem than the presenting issue. 

Motivate – This is the time to collect all the positive resources in an individual to move forward from the current situation.  Motivate people by focusing them on the outcome and using their life experiences to add to the motivational energy. Going back to life situations where they have been successful and created great life learning or success usually helps them to bring the confidence back and get on the path.

Persistence – This is the responsibility/accountability that helps you to persist on the path of success. This involves positive feedback and continuation of the coaching support for the client’s work

Observation – Reexamines the path and provides feedback based upon the experience of the current state. This may result in the modification of the path or simply reinforcement that the current path is going well

Wonder – Wonder and curiosity are the keys in any life situation to bring creativity to life situations. When we are motivated and moving on our path a little curiosity and wonder makes us add elements that will make our life journey more fruitful.

Evaluate – Evaluation is the key to achievement, that set out what to do or we have to tweak and change the things around. Either way, we are on a path to success

Repeat – We keep repeating the above process to help with as many issues as we need. Active listening, open awareness and mindfulness are great tools to help with the process.

Life & Business Coaching Model Iva Mishra

Remember you cannot write “challenge without change in its” and “if doesn’t challenge you it will not change you” unknown.


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This year has been difficult, my sister passed away and I was emotionally challenged, helpless.  You never KNOW how you will feel or react when the passing of your close family member happens. This is one of the pains that you do not have a pian tablet that can help or any medical solution they can help. Knowing that your loved one has passed on, make you sick from an illness that cannot be diagnosed by doctors. What made me sick was the disbelieve of what KNOW, my sister has passed on and the responsibility that will be delegated to me. They say “To whom much is given, much is expected. There’s no way God can give you a huge problem in your head without giving you broad shoulders to hold that head tight and we said to him, in as much as we’re facing these challenges, we don’t pray for less problems, but we wish to pray for more strength, and he’s done that.”

The educated people say knowing put you in an advantageous position, to address the challenge you are facing. It more advantageous to know why? Knowing why makes you find meaning in the challenge you are faced with. The word KNOW made me find meaning in the passing of my sister, with a hope of healing. The word KNOW gave me the following:

  • KWANZAA: Kwanzaa’s seven principles illustrated the unity of the family during the good and sad times. Self-determination during difficult times and family collective work in all challenges in life. Our responsibility within the family and communities and cooperation with others in life. Finding your purpose in life for the benefit of others, be creative to overcome your challenges and never lose faith in all challenges in life.
  • NOMINATED: The process of selecting a candidate to fulfil the obligations related to the work or goals. The candidate goes through tests to be honored or awarded with a new role, my family had to be tested for us to know our new role in life.
  • OBLIGED: This was a morally bounding event, which tested our faith and brought us together as a family.
  • WILLINGNESS: This is about accepting the challenge and committing yourself to be part of the solution. I accepted the responsibility and committed myself to new family roles and tasks.

Knowing the meaning behind KNOW was not enough for me to heal, the pain was there and not going away. A month later I had my coaching section with my life coach Dr Emmanuel Imevbore. I shared my challenges with him, he was accommodative and even shared his painful life experiences with me. This is when he introduced me to the concept of AVELA by Dr Emmanuel Imevbore. AVELA is a concept of keeping you focused and grounded especially in tough times. AVELA stands for: Awareness; Value; Energy/Empowerment; Lifestyle; and Action/Ability.

  • Awareness: Self, People, Situations and Environment: Awareness refers to your knowledge of self, concerning your life purpose, plan and programmes, as well as concerning other people in achieving the purpose. Awareness also refers to your interaction with a specific, spatial and global environment, as you adapt to where you are, as well as what you can or cannot control or change.
  • Value: Value Systems; Principles; People; Desires: You can know a person’s worth by his value systems. What would he spend money on? Where would he spend his most precious moments? With whom does he associate? What does he love to do? Value relates to personal perception of what, where and who is of high importance and great worth, that would demand our attention and affection.
  • Energy: Vigour; Enthusiasm; Passion; Enjoyment: Several researches prove that less than 20% of people employed in an organization are enthusiastic about going to work each day. They often drag themselves out of their beds and go through the motions with gritted teeth each day, just as our kids go through the motions of going to school each day. But, why do we act differently when we are going on a holiday or to visit someone that we love? It is energy! This relates to our perception and our realities about having to do something, rather than loving to do something. When we have to do it, we just do it anyway and try to love doing it. But, when we love it, we love to do it over and over again. We never want to stop – we have the energy. We never get exhausted when we do what we love. Work is work, so it hardly gives us that much pleasure, but even when we do some work that we see as a play, we lose enthusiasm as well. Nothing worthy can be done without real energy.
  • Lifestyle: Excellent Life Balance; Outlook; Worldview: A person’s lifestyle refers to how the person lives his or her life, and functions on a daily basis concerning other people, the environment, personal values, habits, obligations, desires, activities, and behavioural tendencies, among others. Lifestyle thus reveals much about how a person balances his or her life and manages the diverse contending issues that relate to right living and that ensures excellent relationships with people, at work, in business, within the family, at play, at home etc. It suggests a good balance of talents, health, mind, body, spirit, resources and well-being.
  • Action/Ability: Skills, Capacity-building; Resources: Knowledge is often said to be power. The saying simply emphasises the importance of building your capacity and improving your abilities through continuous learning and the appropriate utilisation of the knowledge being acquired to bring about transformational changes in your life and the lives of others.

Thanks to knowing AVELA by Dr Emmanuel Imevbore of International Coaching and Mentoring Institute. I’m now in the process of healing, AVELA did put things into perspective. It taught me that challenges only help to fire that enthusiasm and galvanise you further. You will continue to do great things for yourself, your family and your community when you are more appreciative of the gift of people that are around you. I hope this will find room in your heart and form more information about AVELA principles visit

Igniting the Human Positive Condition _ PERMA 

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When I was growing up, I use to hear my mother saying, the car has broken down your father will not be a good company to be with. It took me almost 30 years to understand what my mother was saying. It was the call from my wife, that made me understand my mother’s statement. She said love I have car issues, the car does not want to move. What made things more difficult, was the quotation from the mechanic. This affected most of our plans and other engagement. It was the theory of well-being by Dr Seligman that put things into perspective. The theory of well-being is called PERMA.

PERMA™ Theory of Well-Being

Dr Seligman’s PERMA™ theory of well-being is an attempt to answer these fundamental questions. There are five building blocks that enable flourishing – Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment (hence PERMA™) – and there are techniques to increase each. 

The theory state that different people will derive well-being from each of these five building blocks to varying degrees. A good life for one person is not necessarily a good life for another. There are many different routes to a flourishing life and the five building blocks drive the well-being of life:

  • Positive Emotion

Positive emotion is about feeling good and is obviously the most direct path to being happy. When one feels good, one feels positive. However, such positive emotion doesn’t just stop at someone flashing a great smile because that is something anyone can do or, sadly, fake.

Positive emotion goes beyond that and may even involve acceptance of the past regardless of how bad it was and anticipating positively what the future holds.

However, such emotion does not necessarily mean that the person should be happy 100% of the time because that is impossible. But trying to achieve a positive emotion greatly affects many other aspects of life, such as the other elements found in the PERMA model.

The words pleasure and enjoyment are easily associated with happiness but are mistakenly understood to be equal and the same. Pleasure, according to the model, refers to one’s physical needs being satisfied such as food, shelter, water, clothing, and safety. Enjoyment, on the other hand, is the satisfaction and fulfilment derived from doing something such as painting, cross-stitching, or exploring a car’s engine. When enjoyment is achieved, happiness tags along, too.

  • Engagement

The second element in the PERMA Model is Engagement, which refers to something that an individual can get engrossed with or absorbed in. Almost everybody has experienced getting lost in a book or living in “one’s own world” because of something so engaging. It is actually a very positive thing for a person’s intelligence, emotions, and skills, which is why a child who is busy putting together different Lego parts or piling blocks should be allowed to do so and let be.

Doing something that engages an individual also brings happiness even if it has nothing to do at all with one’s work or if it is deemed by others as silly. For example, a woman in her mid-30’s who loves to play the violin can do so, and while engaged in doing it can momentarily leave the present and live in the music.

  • Relationships

 Relationships are the third element of happiness and well-being, according to the PERMA model. As human beings, it is our natural desire to want to be connected and be part of a group such as a clique, school organization, or a circle. We were wired to not just want but need love, affection, attention, and interaction. It is why people need to create relationships with family, co-workers, friends, and peers, because it is from these groups that we can receive emotional support when things get rough.

A simple yet clear example of the need for belongingness and interaction is when high school girls go together to the comfort room even if only one actually needs to use it.

  • Meaning

Many people wonder why many celebrities who live in multi-million-dollar mansions and go on monthly vacations to the Maldives and the Caribbean end up taking their own lives. What they do not understand is that there is so much more to life than just money and material possessions. Above it all, what makes a person want to live is the meaning they find in their lives.

Parents with young children understand how important they are in their children’s lives and so they work hard to provide for their families. A beautiful lady, though unmarried, is happy because she takes care of her ageing parents. These things are worth more than any amount of money and meaning keeps people happy and persistent.

  • Accomplishments

Finally, the fifth PERMA model element is accomplishments. We all take pride in something we’ve done or accomplished. It is these accomplishments that strengthen our self-esteem and our confidence that we are worth something. When we achieve something, we feel good and want to do more and become more. It can be seen even in very young children.

For instance, a little girl learns to use the spoon and fork when eating and when she knows how proud her mother is upon learning this, the child continues to use her spoon and fork. She also seeks new things to learn that are more challenging than what she can already do, such as pouring water into her glass or putting her toys back in the cupboard. In short, these accomplishments drive individuals to achieve more and make them feel good.

Dr Seligman believes that, Yet the concept of “happiness” is often hard to accurately define.

Living the good life, flourishing, self-actualization, joy, and purpose are words that come to mind with happiness. Is it possible to experience any of these in the middle of a chaotic world and negative circumstances? Can we learn to grow or find skills that lead to this “good life?”

Positive psychology takes you through the countryside of pleasure and gratification, up into the high country of strength and virtue, and finally to the peaks of lasting fulfilment, meaning and purpose.

The Dr Seligman PERMA model helped us realize the concept of happiness and give us strength, lasting fulfilment, life meaning and life purpose.

Dr Seligman Video on Positive Education, 2016

Dr Seligman Video on PERMA and Flourishing in the Classroom, 2016