Time To Battlefields

Photo by Jordan Benton on Pexels.com

It was the 4th of December 2020 travelling to my friend wedding at Battlefields. Myself and my wife we agreed to travel at 13:00 to avoid driving at night. She asked to start at the saloon to look beautiful for the wedding. Knowing my wife, she needs her time at the saloon. I do not know what I expected when agreed for her to start at the saloon on the same day we travelling.

Time tells the story, create emotions and it heals. At 10:00 my wife called me and said the saloon is full but she still going to make it for 13:00. 5 hours late she was still at the saloon and she was not updating now, I think she understood that she has broken the agreement. I was so upset with her, but deep in my heart, I knew that she will not make it for 13:00 as agreed. I do not know why I was upset because I know my wife when it comes to beauty and fashion. She eventual she arrived at 17:00 and she apologies, but I couldn’t say angry at her she was so beautiful it was worth the wait. We eventual travelled and we had a great time to battlefields.

After dinner, we went back to the room to prepare for the wedding the following day. While my wife was working on her dress for the wedding the following day and I started doing my daily reflection before I go to bed. I started reflecting why I was so angry when I knew that she will be late and it hit me, the importance of time. Time means different things everyone, it is something we deal with every day and something that everyone thinks they understand. What fascinates me is the compact and robust definition of TIME has proved to be remarkably tricky and elusive. I wanted to understand what TIME means to me, that made me angry. I realized that TIME means:

Trust – Reliability and firm belief. I trusted my wife will be here at 13:00 as agreed. I had a firm belief that she will be on time, even if I knew she is always late I still believe that she will be there. 

Integrity – The state of being whole and undivided is imported. To me being whole means keeping your promises and agreements. Not keeping the promises met not being whole to me. 

Measured – carefully considered and restrained, assess the importance, effect or value of something. The measure was 13:00 and we both failed 

Engaged – Formally agreed to a commitment. We did not meet keep to our commitment.

Before I went to bed, I realized that the deeper meaning of time has a different impact on everyone. Form me it Trust, Integrity, Measured and Engaged, what is your deeper meaning of TIME?

Complaining at Spiritual Retreat – The Deeds

Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels.com

After some months of hardship in our space, I decided to go for the Spiritual Retreat that my old sister had recommended. When she lost her job last year, she went through a lot of hardship and Spiritual Retreat was what helped her to be normal again. We both took a drive to the north coast of KwaZulu Natal, it was a 6-hour drive. The alone drive was therapeutic, having to catch up with my sister and discussing important family issues. 

6 hours late we arrived at the venue and the first Spiritual Retreat was scheduled for 8 am the next day. All the sections were great, I was learning something new and the growth in my spiritual connection. On the 3rd day during the section, the facilitator stopped and asked one of the attendees. Why you always complaining? From day one you were negative, I was hoping by day three you be better. For a moment, we were all quite and the was no response from the lady in question.

The facilitator illustrated the impact of complaining in life and for our health in general. That afternoon it took time to found out more about the impact of complaining in life and on our health in general. I came across the article on entrepreneur which suggested that while it’s not an exaggeration to say that complaining leads to brain damage, it doesn’t stop there. When you complain, your body releases the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol shifts you into fight-or-flight mode, directing oxygen, blood and energy away from everything but the systems that are essential to immediate survival. One effect of cortisol, for example, is to raise your blood pressure and blood sugar so that you’ll be prepared to either escape or defend yourself.

All the extra cortisol released by frequent complaining impairs your immune system and makes you more susceptible to high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease and obesity. It even makes the brain more vulnerable to strokes

What I liked about this article it introduced the concept of Deeds based on the common law. The purpose of a deed is to transfer a title, a legal document proving ownership of a property or asset, to another person. This met to transfer the title of complaining to something with a positive purpose.

Deeds

This concept says something truly worth complaining about — is to engage in solution-oriented complaining. Think of it as complaining about a purpose. Solution-oriented complaining should do the following:

  • Have a clear purpose. Before complaining, know what outcome you’re looking for. If you can’t identify a purpose, there’s a good chance you just want to complain about its own sake, and that’s the kind of complaining you should nip in the bud.
  • Start with something positive. It may seem counterintuitive to start a complaint with a compliment but starting with a positive help keep the other person from getting defensive. For example, before launching into a complaint about poor customer service, you could say something like, “I’ve been a customer for a very long time and have always been thrilled with your service…”
  • Be specific. When you’re complaining it’s not a good time to dredge up every minor annoyance from the past 20 years. Just address the current situation and be as specific as possible. Instead of saying, “Your employee was rude to me,” describe specifically what the employee did that seemed rude.
  • End on a positive. If you end your complaint with, “I’m never shopping here again,” the person who’s listening has no motivation to act on your complaint. In that case, you’re just venting, or complaining about no purpose other than to complain. Instead, restate your purpose, as well as your hope that the desired result can be achieved, for example, “I’d like to work this out so that we can keep our business relationship intact.”

The dangers of complaining are also illustrated in the Philippians 2:14-16 ESV / 1,741 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish amid a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labour in vain.

The concept of Deeds led me to PositiveMind question of what is in the word DEEDS, illustrated in a quote.

DESIRE: The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

ENHANCE: I think that’s the great thing about acting you get to play different characters and enhance one part of yourself to really bring that out and create a new person. Danielle Campbell

EXCELLENT: Successful people will always tell you you can do something. It’s the people who have never accomplished anything who will always discourage you from trying to achieve excellent things. Lou Holtz

DESTINY: Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. William Jennings Bryan

SUCCESS: Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill

https://www.entrepreneur.com/amphtml/281734

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/robert_kiyosaki_393031?src=t_desire

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/danielle_campbell_997727

Find My Phone – The Courage

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Most of us have changed our Sunday routes since we are not able to meet and worship with congregant due to lockdown regulations. I have also changed my Sunday routes. I start with my Anglican pray book section and read bible verses, guided by an Anglican prayer book. This is normally followed by watering my bonsai tree, drowning inspiration from Bonsai meaning. Bonsai symbolises harmony, peace, an order of thoughts, balance and all that is good in nature https://www.bonsaidirect.co.uk/bonsai-tree-symbolism-tree-of-life-meaning/.

On this special day, after finishing watering my bonsai tree I went outside to relax in front of my wife’s car. Few minutes late I was back inside the house, forgetting my phone on top of the bonnet. A moment later was off to visit her sister at Verulam north of Durban, she did not see my phone on top of the bonnet.

Later in the afternoon, I wanted to call my parent to check if they are fine. That when I realised my phone was missing. I started looking for it and the phone was not in the house. I called my phone, it was rigging with no response on the other side. At that moment I was panicking and not thinking straight. After taking a deep breath and recollected myself, I remembered that my phone has to Find My Phone functionality. I searched for the phone on the App, the App located 600m from my house. At this moment I know the location and believed that my phone is at the address the App indicated.

Knowing the location of my phone, created the COURAGE to go out there and FIND MY PHONE. The courage to go to someone’s house and ask if they FIND MY PHONE was unbelievable. In my mind there was no obstacle that could prevent me from finding my phone, Eminem side it well: Lose Yourself “Look If you had one shot or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment would you capture it or just let it slip?” https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/loseyourself.html. I decided to capture the moment to FIND MY PHONE. I drove to the address and I found my phone, but the screen was crashed. They told me, they found the phone on the road next to my house being crushed by passing vehicles. The phone fell from my wife’s car after joining the main road. I must say I was grateful to find my phone and did share my gratitude with the young men that found the phone by giving him R 250.00

On my way back home, I was asking myself. Where did I get the COURAGE to go to someone’s house and ask for my phone? I realised that knowing create believe and believe create COURAGE. Courage is something that everybody wants—an attribute of good character that makes us worthy of respect. There are different types of courage, ranging from physical strength and endurance to mental stamina and innovation. The below quotes demonstrate six different ways in which we define COURAGE:

  • Feeling Fear Yet Choosing to Act: “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela
  • Following Your Heart: “Passion is what drives us crazy, what makes us do extraordinary things, to discover, to challenge ourselves. Passion is and should always be the heart of courage.” —Midori Komatsu
  • Persevering in the Face of Adversity: “Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.” —Orison Swett Marden (1850-1924)
  • Standing Up For What Is Right: “Sometimes standing against evil is more important than defeating it. The greatest heroes stand because it is right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives. Such selfless courage is a victory in itself.” —N.D. Wilson, Dandelion Fire
  • Expanding Your Horizons; Letting Go of the Familiar: “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” —Lord Chesterfield
  • Facing Suffering With Dignity or Faith: “There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” —Viktor Frankl

https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201208/the-six-attributes-courage

Knowing different types of courage is not enough, we need to find the meaning behind the word COURAGE. The below quotes demonstrate the meaning behind the word COURAGE:

  • Choice: “Life presents many choices, the choices we make determine our future.” – Catherine Pulsifer
  • Objective: “Know what your objective is. Anything that does not contribute to that objective is unnecessary; let those things go.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich
  • Understand: “Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” Albert Einstein
  • Respect: “ knowledge will give you power, but respect character” – Bruce Lee
  • Action: “Belief means nothing without actions” ― Randa Abdel-Fattah, 
  • Gratitude: “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar 
  • Empathy: “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.” Anonymous

Let assume knowing create believe and believe create COURAGE. Do you have the COURAGE to act on it?

https://www.success.com/15-thoughtful-quotes-about-gratitude/

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/actions

http://www.planetofsuccess.com/blog/2017/powerful-respect-quotes/

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/objectives

https://www.wow4u.com/choices/

Response from Brother In-law – HOPE

Photo by Lynnelle Richardson on Pexels.com

Last year was difficult for everyone, people losing jobs and love ones. I was also not immune to this situation. My older sister lost her job at one of the leading retailers in South Africa. A few months later, I met my sister with her husband in one of the restaurants in Durban central to collect some heabs. One thing I’ve learned from COVID is the importance of African heabs to boost our immune system.

They invited me to join them while enjoying their dinner. We discussed the current development in the world. The story of me travelling to the north coast came up and I proposed to travel with my sister. The response from my brother-in-law was not expected. He said if she is still around. We both sad what? He said she may have a job by the time you travel to the north coast my brother-in-law responded. His response moved me, his HOPE and believe was out of this world.  His HOPE made me realise the impotence of HOPE in life.

Psychology today said having hope is to imagine a positive outcome. The directive of many motivational principles is to visualize what you want and imagine positive outcomes so that your behavior is unconsciously structured to create them. However, one does not need to turn to quantum explanations to account for the positive effects of hope. 

The crossway illustrates the deeper meaning of HOPE “In a word, hope: hope understood not in the weak sense of optimistic whistling in the dark, but in the strong sense of certainty about what is coming because God himself has promised it. This hope is unique in the fields of both religion and philosophy. The philosopher Kant observed that the question, “What may I hope for?” is one of the most important questions one can ever ask, but he did not claim he could answer it. https://www.crossway.org/articles/where-theres-hope-theres-life/

To have hope is to want an outcome that makes your life better in some way. It not only can help make a tough present situation more bearable but also can eventually improve our lives because envisioning a better future motivates you to take the steps to make it happen. In a way, having hope links your past and present to the future. You have a vision for what you hope will happen. Whether it does not, just envisioning it can make you feel better. And if it’s something you can somewhat control – like the kids working to get out of poverty – then hope can motivate you to take whatever steps you need to take. Dr Neel Burton, a book author who writes about emotions, writes that he always asks patients for what they hope for, because if they say “nothing” then that is a sign of depression or worse. Having hope is important to the very act of being a human being. As Dr Judith Rich writes, “Hope is a match in a dark tunnel, a moment of light, just enough to reveal the path ahead and ultimately the way out.” https://hopegrows.net/news/why-is-hope-so-important

After reading articles about HOPE, I realised that HOPE is HAVING ONLY POSITIVE EXPECTATION. PositiveMind questioned what is in the word HOPE, illustrated in a quote.

Hero: The hero sees values beyond what’s possible. That’s the nature of a hero. It kills him, of course, ultimately. But it makes the whole struggle of humanity worthwhile – JOHN GARDNER

Observe: The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it – George Bernard Shaw

Positive: Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder

Expectation: Expectations Don’t magically Change Reality. Expectations Do Something Even More Powerful They Change The Way you Deal With Reality!!

https://www.coolnsmart.com/expectation_quotes/

https://www.wisesayings.com/observation-quotes/

http://www.notable quotes.com/h/heroes_quotes.htmlhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201106/the-power-hope-and-recognizing-when-its-hopeless

Leading by fear – The Respect

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

Leadership has changed over the years, we have seen leaders becoming innovative in motivating and getting positive results. Leading by fear was starting to despair in some of the workplaces, thanks to the work done by organisations like Steven V Covery. Since COVID came into our life’s, I have seen the elements of leading by fear returning, it triggered by working from home. Most leaders were not ready for this arrangement.   I have seen it often throughout my career. Many leaders still show a leadership style of fear, even at a time where society is becoming more progressive and entrepreneurial.

One of the problems is that leading by fear can work. Fear is a very effective motivator, even if it involves an unpleasant sensation. There is no doubt that leading by fear can get things done. For humans, fear is a primal motivator that can prevent the lion from eating us. That is when there were lots of lions around. In a work environment, there are no lions. Only people.

Fear is a powerful motivator, there is no doubt about that. However, leading by fear has several consequences that I’ve noticed during my career.

1. Leading By Fear Stops Teamwork

2. Leading By Fear Creates Workplace Gangs

3. Leading By Fear Stops People From Speaking Up

4. Leading By Fear Kills Confidence in Team Members

Tom Flick believe that leading by fear is like a nasty virus that will plague the organisation. Sometimes, leading by fear appears effective in the short term; it can cause immediate action, and ensure temporary accountability, but it’s the biggest problem is that it creates a sense of false urgency in people, a heightened sense of anxiety which in turn creates a lot of activity, but not a lot of productivity. Leading by fear creates false evidence that appears to be real. Often, leaders who have reached a point of desperation will resort to leading with fear. However, there are some drawbacks to joining this dark-side method of leading. Its human nature, when you’re are scared the defencing mode kicks in. That is why leading with fear is effective for the short term. This was not a surprise when    Wikipedia said “Fear is an emotion induced by perceived danger or threat, which causes physiological changes and ultimately behavioural changes, such as mounting an aggressive response or fleeing the threat. Fear in human beings may occur in response to a certain stimulus occurring in the present, or in anticipation or expectation of a future threat perceived as a risk to oneself”

The alternative is a respect-based leadership model. This practice is done by great leaders and can have enormously positive results in the organisation. Great leaders make those around them better. They find ways to discover the best in people and enable their full potential. Those inspired folks, in turn, go out to influence more people, and a domino effect of possibility occurs in the organization.


When employees are empowered, they’re focused externally, and more likely to look outside themselves and put their attention on bettering their team and the customer experience. Respect a man, he will do the more. James Howell

Respect is a key requirement for a healthy work environment. It promotes teamwork and increases productivity and efficiencies in the workplace. It lets employees know they are valued for their abilities, qualities, and achievements, and that their role is important to their company’s success.

The characteristics respect-based leadership model led me to the PositiveMind question of what is in the word RESPECT, illustrated in a quote.

RESPONSIBILITY – Responsibility is accepting that you are the cause & the solution of the matter.

EMPOWER – As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others. Bill Gates

SERVE – The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others. Albert Schweitzer

PRODUCTIVITY – “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis Of Assisi

EFFICIENCY – Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right things. Peter Drucker

COOPERATION – No leader, however strong, can succeed at anything of national importance or significance unless he has the support and cooperation of the people he is tasked to lead and sworn to serve. Rodrigo Duterte

TRUST – You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough. Frank Crane

http://www.notable-quotes.com/r/responsibility_quotes.html

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/bill_gates_385136?src=t_empower

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/albert_schweitzer_133530?src=t_serve

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/40-powerful-productivity-quotes-from-the-highly-successful-people.html

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/peter_drucker_134881?src=t_efficiency

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/rodrigo_duterte_769524?src=t_cooperation

https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/trust-quotes

https://www.thebalancecareers.com/how-to-demonstrate-respect-in-the-workplace-1919376

SERVICE of the Men With an R4 rifle

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

2020 was a difficult year for everyone, one of the things we could not do was our date weekend with my wife. After 8 months of lockdown in South Africa, all our relationship culture was not the same. After our annual couple retreats, we reinstated some of our relationship cultural practise and one of them was dates weekend.

On our way back from our first date weekend, I had to pass through police station to get commissioner of oats to sing off for the trust documents that my friend and I were working on for our legacy. We stopped at the police station to get commissioner of oats sings off, my wife said she will wait in the car. I entered the charge office, at the front desk one couple was sitting there to report missing person case. Only one officer was on the front desk, but you could hear that someone was in the back office. I waited for about 40 minutes without any service provided, for a 2-minute service. 15 minutes later one young lady entered the charge office for certification of documents, a minute later middlemen age entered the charge office, he was on the cell phone. 

A few minutes later the men left the charge office and the middlemen age officer that was in the back office appeared with car keys on his hand. He walked to the door, living the charged officer. On his way out he stopped and asked, are you both together? I replied, no and he stops for a minute but continued to walk to the police van. It now 1,5 hours sitting at the charge office for a 2-minute service. I’m now fuming inside, and you can see it in my eyes, what makes things worse is the middlemen age officer that did not provide the 2-minute service after asking. What made me angrier, why did he ask if he’s was not going provide the 2-minute service?

A minute later one officer came in with one suspect in handcuffs, followed by the Men With an R4 Rifle. The men on the phone returned and walk straight to the back office with some documents. A few minutes later, he was done and left the charge office. I was starting to lose it and I was 5 minutes away from walking out, but the officer that came with suspect came back and walk out of the charge office door followed by Men With an R4 Rifle.  Something unexpected happened, the Men With an R4 Rifle stopped and asked the officer at the front desk, are you working alone. She responded, yes I’m alone.  The Men With an R4 Rifle asked who are here for commissioner of oats sing-off and certification of documents? We responded with the young lady, the Men With an R4 Rifle told his partner to wait for 10min he needs to assist the officer at the front desk.

The Men With an R4 Rifle went to the front desk, put his Rifle down and ask who came first. I was on my feet first, 2 minutes late my document was done and, on my way out of the charge office, I said to myself the Men With an R4 Rifle understand the concept of SERVICE. As was driving home I could not stop thinking, how can men without a gun do not help us but the Men With an R4 Rifle stop helps? That afternoon I could not stop thinking about SERVICE, I started looking for what is in the word SERVICE?

The Men With an R4 Rifle clearly understood the concept of SERVICE, which is in the word SERVICE. 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

CONCEPT OF SERVICE

SOCIALIt a responsible ethical framework and suggests that an individual has the obligation to work and other individuals for the benefit of society at large. The Men With an R4 Rifle understand the police service responsible ethical framework to benefit me and the young lady.

ETHICALIt the moral principle that governs conduct with its customers. The Men With an R4 Rifle moral principle are still in place which governs him with his customers.

RESPONSIBLE: The duty to perform the work for benefit of society at large. The understanding of his duty made him ask the question are you working alone?

VISION: Understanding of organisational vision to improve social services, by assisting the officer at the front deck improved the service provided to us.

INTELLIGENT: Having the capabilities of identifying the custom needs at all levels. The level of INTELLIGENT from the Men With an R4 Rifle made him identify the customers need while walking out the charge office.

COURTEOUS: Having good manners and respect for others in peruse of social service excellence. The respect of the Men With an R4 Rifle to us as customers in peruse of social service excellence.

ENGAGE: Be involved and pay attention to serving others for the benefit of society at large. Being involved and paying attention, making it easy for the Men With an R4 Rifle to serve while focusing on the task at hand.

The Men With an R4 Rifle made me forget the bad service from the middle men age officer that asked to serve us but left without helping. His understanding of the concept of SERVICE saved the day.

Your Biography, Can You Buy it?

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The past holidays I got some time to visit my old friend Jabulani in Richards Bay after charismas. The aim was to see the new house that he bought after his wedding. I had to stop at the Mall to get some small groceries. In our Zulu culture you do not come to visit someone’s house without umngenandlini (entering the hut). 

At the Mall, I bumped to my old colleague Mpho. Mpho has launched his new book called CRACKING THE PROPERTY INVESTMENT CODE 3 months ago. I congratulated him and asked how does it feel like to be the published author. He was so excited about his book, he even expressed the feeling of seeing your book at the book store. I could see the excitement in his eyes, it was so fulfilling seeing someone living his dream. We concluded our discussions and went our separate ways. A few minutes later I was at Jabulani’s house, the house is big and beautiful. We spend most of the day catching up and braai meat, a few hours later it was my time to go back home in Pinetown. On my way back home I recalled Mpho’s excitement and something came to mind. If having your book published make you feel like that, how is the feeling of buying your own book? I realized that the question does make sense. The question exists if the book is about your life story (Biography), written by another author.

Will you buy your life story book at the book store? Will you read it till the last page? Will you be proud of your life story? These questions made me reflect on my life and I started questioning some of my moment in life. I realized that I’m not sure about my story. The life story is unique for everyone and it based on different principles. My principles lead me to the following meaning of LIFE-STORY:

LIFE

· LOVE: Love means to be deeply committed and connected to someone, yourself or something. The basic meaning of love is to feel more than liking towards someone or something. Love is when you choose to be at your best when the other person is not at their best. This plays important role in writing our life story, giving your best when the other person is not at their best.

· INSPIRE: Inspire means to excite, encourage, or breathe life into. Inspire comes from the Latin word that means to inflame or to blow in to. When you inspire something, it is as if you are blowing air over a low flame to make it grow. While writing our life story we must breathe life into our communities. Let make sure we aspire to inspire before we expire.

· FORGIVE: Experts define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Practising forgiveness on our life story releases all the negative feelings that may stop us from achieving our goals. 

· ENGAGE: Engage is being with someone/something to make an effort to understand and deal with someone or something. Being engaged brings support/contribution to positive change within the communities.

STORY

· STRIVE: Make great efforts to achieve something. Let make a great effort to achieve our goals, so that will be proud of our life story.

· TRUST: Reliability and firm belief. Trust the process to your goal and review it when needed. Be a firm believer of the plan and process that it will deliver, even if take too long. They say patience is a virtue, let be patience with our life story.

· ORGANIZE: To arrange/plan/ order things so that they can be  found easily and quickly. It easy for us to organize things for companies we work for, but difficult to do the same for our life story. Try a 5-year plan for your life story like the companies you work for, the progress can surprise you. 

· RESPECT/REWARD: Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. The Dalai Lama said “ mutual respect is the foundation of genuine harmony” Practising respect on our life store will create genuine harmony with our yourself and others.

The reward is something that is given in return for good or evil done or received or that is offered or given for some service or attainment the police offered a reward for his capture. They say the journey is a reward, so as our life story. Latin proverb says ” after the battles come the rewards”. It is very important to celebrate your achievement, reward ourself to create the positive energy that will carry you during the difficult times. 

· YOURSELF: This is about loving yourself, accepting yourself as you are and to come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change. It means to have self-respect, a positive self-image, and unconditional self-acceptance. Steve Jobs said, ” your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life”. Let all write our life stories that will be proud of.

What are your principles of LIFE-STORY? I know it difficult to be sure of your answer to the existing question about your life story. Remember you still have time to rewrite your life story if you are not sure as me.

Build It as If It Yours – The ETHICS

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

I got the call from my Line Manager, as usual, every Monday, since we started working from home, thanks to COVID. Our work trust has been put to test and our performance is now based on the results, not influence. We talked about my last week’s performance and other departmental new development. 

My Line Manager told me that the company is cutting office building space since the company is moving to a hybrid Office model. What shocked me was what he said next. He said the Queen’s Warehouse will be our departmental hybrid Office. The Queen’s Warehouse is the old building that was used by Queen of London when she came to the City in the old days. Why this is a very important building for me? I was the construction manager for the reconstruction of the Queen’s Warehouse and convention from the warehouse to offices during the Durban 2005 programme. This was one of the challenging projects, I ever worked on. The project was challenging because we had to preserve the history of the building while modernising it to be an attractive office. 

When my Line Manager told me about the Queen’s Warehouse, a few things came to mind. What if I overlooked some thinking because I was not the one using the building? Did I ensure that the building was structural sound, safe for the office environment and ergonomically correct for all individuals? These questions made me revisit my ethics as a human being.  The principles of Building It as If It Yours came to mind. This principle emphasises the importance of ethics and karma (What you put out will come back to you in unexpected ways. Give only what you don’t mind getting back to you).

The principles of Building It as If It Yours led me to PositiveMind question what is in the word ETHICS, illustrated in the quote.

Ethical -: Do what is right, not what is easy

Truth -: Truth will always be the truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance (W. Clement Stone)

Honor -: Rather fail with honour than succeed by fraud (Sophocles)

Inspire -: Aspire to inspire before you expire

Courage -: Courage is grace under pressure (Ernest Hemingway)

Service -: Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth (Muhammad Ail)

The LOPO Medication

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I have been trying to understand some of my personality, what I found did not surprise me. I found out that I love challenges and finding solutions. In the being of my career, I was not able to hold a job for more than three years.  One of the reasons I was looking for the nextchallenge, but what drove me to the next challenge was the working conditions and culture. Seven later I joined one of the International Company, I have been working for this company for the past 11 years. In this 11-years leadership has changed three times but working conditions and culture has remained the same. This is one of the reasons I’m still working for this company. 

We currently going through the 4th leadership change, this one is deferent, and it is threatening company working conditions and culture. A few days ago, I attend a meeting with some of the company executives, where I realised the body/organisation is going to get sick. I started to fill my blood boiling, an increase in heart rate and I was getting sick. This was the first indicator that our body/organisation will need attention and that when I remembered the Sponge Bob and Square Pants Life lesson from Robin Sharma book The Greatness Guide https://www.robinsharma.com/article/life-lessons-from-spongebob-squarepants. The change is not in line with Sponge Bob and Square Pants Life lesson.

Photo by Thirdman on Pexels.com

They say it during this time when LOPO is the solution.  LOPO is the medicine used to treat the blood pressure,heart failure, heart attack, stroke, kidney and diabetes. The meeting I went too, made me think the organisation is approaching it heart failure or heart attack. It going to need LOPO medication. This will treat the organisational heart failure or heart attack to be the same working conditions and culture that I stayed in for the past 11 years. The LOPO solution will reinstate the following to the organisational conditions and culture:

1. L – Laugh and have fun: Enjoying your work and having fun in the process. There’s no point in being successful but sad. Makes no sense. Yes, reach for the mountaintop. But enjoy the climb as well. Life wasn’t meant to be an ordeal. Have a big-time fun as you chase – and catch – your most cherished dreams.

2. O – Originality: Being original and respecting cultural rituals. SpongeBob is one of a kind. Too many amongst us are afraid to be ourselves. So, we give up our dreams to follow the crowd. Sad. “To thine own self be true” wrote Shakespeare. Have the courage to be your true – and best – you.

3. P – People value: Recognising people talent that contribute to the success of the organisation. SpongeBob knows what friendship means. He loves his pals in Bikini Bottom, even Squidward “who is always cranky”, to use my son Colby’s words. SpongeBob knows that respect and putting people first are two of the most important elements of a strong relationship.

4. O – Optimist eternal: The guy (the sponge I should say) always sees the best in any situation. You’re thinking really does shape your reality. And because SpongeBob looks for the best, he finds it.

Sharing Experiences is Healing – HEAL

Photo by PhotoMIX Company on Pexels.com

It was December 2019, my close friend told us he is getting married on the 25 April 2020. We started making plans for booking accommodation at the wedding venue. 22 March 2020 President of South Africa announce National Lockdown due to COVID 19. All the plans were postponed. After 7 months my friend informed me, the wedding is back on the cards and the date is set for 5 December 2020. All the plans were back on track, unfortunately, Sibusiso (Blessing) one of our friend was not able to come due to work commitment. Nhlanhla (Luck) asked me to talk on behalf of the friends on the wedding day. 

I was 8th on the list of speakers on the wedding day, the program director called my name to speak on behalf of friends. I delivered my speech, toward the end of my speech. I started sharing some of my experience in my marriage, I was driving the point of living your marriage without allowing anyone to live their marriage through your marriage. The venue hall was silent, you could hear the needle falling. Few minutes late I was done and went back to my sit. During the wedding lunch, a huge gentleman approached me and said thank you. I asked him, for what?  We had the same experience, but our experience was longer than yours. Hang in there everything will be fine and the whole evening I was thinking about what the gentlemen said.

At the dinner, I shared the story with my wife and we were both moved. The 2nd day of the traditional wedding, both my wife and I had the same experience from different individuals. It was clear that we are not alone and something happened to me that afternoon. I was relieved and I was healed, as we were driving home with my wife. I asked her, how are you filling? She said I’m healed. 

Marc Maron said “I think sharing experience makes everything better. When people get talking about how they’ve overcome something or how they haven’t, it’s nourishing”

The principles of Sharing Experience, Led me to PositiveMind question what is in the word HEAL

Photo by Magicbowls on Pexels.com

Helping: Helping one person might not change the whole world, but it could change the world for one person.

Everyone: Everyone wants to be the sun to lighten up someone’s life, but why not be the moon, to brighten in the darkest hour?

Accept:  Accept that you will never be perfect, life will have always have challenges & people will disappoint you sometimes. Acceptance is the first step to peace – Lori Deschene

Love: You always gain by giving love – Reese Withespoon

What is your experience you want to share and get healed?