Sharing Experiences is Healing – HEAL

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It was December 2019, my close friend told us he is getting married on the 25 April 2020. We started making plans for booking accommodation at the wedding venue. 22 March 2020 President of South Africa announce National Lockdown due to COVID 19. All the plans were postponed. After 7 months my friend informed me, the wedding is back on the cards and the date is set for 5 December 2020. All the plans were back on track, unfortunately, Sibusiso (Blessing) one of our friend was not able to come due to work commitment. Nhlanhla (Luck) asked me to talk on behalf of the friends on the wedding day. 

I was 8th on the list of speakers on the wedding day, the program director called my name to speak on behalf of friends. I delivered my speech, toward the end of my speech. I started sharing some of my experience in my marriage, I was driving the point of living your marriage without allowing anyone to live their marriage through your marriage. The venue hall was silent, you could hear the needle falling. Few minutes late I was done and went back to my sit. During the wedding lunch, a huge gentleman approached me and said thank you. I asked him, for what?  We had the same experience, but our experience was longer than yours. Hang in there everything will be fine and the whole evening I was thinking about what the gentlemen said.

At the dinner, I shared the story with my wife and we were both moved. The 2nd day of the traditional wedding, both my wife and I had the same experience from different individuals. It was clear that we are not alone and something happened to me that afternoon. I was relieved and I was healed, as we were driving home with my wife. I asked her, how are you filling? She said I’m healed. 

Marc Maron said “I think sharing experience makes everything better. When people get talking about how they’ve overcome something or how they haven’t, it’s nourishing”

The principles of Sharing Experience, Led me to PositiveMind question what is in the word HEAL

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Helping: Helping one person might not change the whole world, but it could change the world for one person.

Everyone: Everyone wants to be the sun to lighten up someone’s life, but why not be the moon, to brighten in the darkest hour?

Accept:  Accept that you will never be perfect, life will have always have challenges & people will disappoint you sometimes. Acceptance is the first step to peace – Lori Deschene

Love: You always gain by giving love – Reese Withespoon

What is your experience you want to share and get healed?

Believing in Your Strength – The Bee on The Side Mirror

Yesterday driving to visit my parents after three months of work travel. I was listening to one of Sun El new song Mandinaye (with you), I love this song. I picked up some groceries at Seadoone mall, just to have something to show to my parents. As I join the N2 again driving towards uMkomaas, on my car side mirror next to the driver’s set. I noticed a bee was holding on to the side mirror, luckily the window was closed. During this period I was travelling at 60 to 80km/hr. I thought the bee will be blown away, not this bee. I started accelerating to 100km/hr – 120km/hr to see if the bee will be blown away. The bee continued to hold on the side mirror, I travelled for about 15km before taking off-ramp to Magabheni. I looked at the side mirror the bee was still on the mirror.

I stopped at the stop sign when I turned to the side mirror I saw the bee “flying” away. From the stop sign driving home on the local road. I was asking myself what made the bee not to be blown away and what made the bee to only move when the car was stationary. I spend almost 5 hours with my parents and my older sister. I returned home in Pinetown, as l park the car. I recalled my dilemma of a bee on the side mirror. I realised one thing that the bee believed was its strength. One of the bee strengths is legs and wings. Bees have two wings on each side of their body, which are held together with comb-like teeth called hamuli. These teeth allow the two wings to act as one large surface and help the bee create greater lift when flying. Each bee leg has claws for gripping and sticky pads to assist the bee in landing on slick surfaces. Bees also have taste receptors on the tips of their legs,create%20greater%20lift%20when%20flying.

After reading the strength of the wings and the legs of the bee, I realised that the bee knew its strength and believe in it. The bee features six legs and two pairs of wings. The muscles in the thorax allow the bee to control the movement of the wings during flight. The rapid contractions of the muscles produce the quicksilver movement of the wings It clear that the bee kept its strength in good condition to function in the high-speed wind like moving car side mirror 

The Bee on The Side Mirror

I recalled something that one wise man told me, one of the human being strengths is the BRAIN. We need to be like the bee and believe in our brain’s capability, improving our brain strength and keep our brain in good condition to withstand any challenges in life like the bee side mirror. 8 ways to improve, condition and increase brain capacity: 

  1. Service / Serve: Service is defined as someone or something that is intended to provide help to those assisting others. Being of service to something — a person, a group, a community, a cause or a belief — means that you’ve chosen to engage without expectation of reciprocation.  There is a belief that to gain a greater sense of purpose and meaning in life it helps to participate in serving others. You will likely help yourself and others find a more powerful perception of life meaning, increase mental and physical well-being for yourself and others.
  2. Teach: Teach is instructing or training to cause knowledge gain or skill. Teach can be used for any method of passing on information or skill so that others may learn. They say when you teach, you understand the concept better and gain more skill in the process. Take time to teach others you will be a better person then you were the previse day. 
  3. Reflection: Reflecting is about thinking things through, a reflective person is a little different — he or she might have great insight due to taking the time to time caring about things. Reflection allows the brain to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mindsets and actions. Reflecting will help you know better on the same situation.
  4. Empower: It about improving others or yourself. When empowering another person, you impact that person, but not just them. You are impacting the world and, ultimately, yourself. This is one of the ways of serving others like they say you will likely help yourself and others by empowering others and find a powerful perception of life meaning, increase mental and physical well-being for yourself and others.
  5. Nice: Being nice is when you are polite to people and treat people well. Being kind is when you care about people and show you care. Doing nice things for others boosts your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of satisfaction and well-being. Like exercise, altruism also releases endorphins, a phenomenon is known as a “helper’s high.” Just be nice, you may not need that gym substruction.
  6. Gratitude: Gratitude is a warm feeling of thankfulness towards the world, or towards specific individuals. The person who feels gratitude is thankful for what they have and does not constantly seek more. The benefits of practicing gratitude are nearly endless. People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems. Just practice gratitude you may sleep better and have a stronger immune system, less time at the doctor’s office.
  7. Trust: Its ability to reliability and firm belief, you are less lonely and able to connects. You become more authentic about life is self and see the things more positive view. Your relationship will be improved, and your team perform will in your presence. Being more trusting may improve your circle of influence.
  8. Health: Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. Being healthy should be part of your overall lifestyle. Living a healthy lifestyle can help prevent chronic diseases and long-term illnesses. Feeling good about yourself and taking care of your health is important for your self-esteem and self-image. Maintain a healthy lifestyle by doing what is right for your body.

Practicing the 8 ways to improve the condition and increase brain capacity will help in knowing your strength like the bee on the side mirror. Do you know your strength and what would you have done if you were the bee in the side mirror?

The Con in the Window

My day starts early in the morning at 5:30. After COVID I stop going to the gym, I have bought some equipment to exercise from home. One morning during my training, I stop for a break I notice something on the window. The Con reflecting on the window, placed the con on the grass while the really con was positioned at the paved area. I was puzzled for a moment, I recollected myself and change my position. In my new position, I was able to see the true position of the Con.

From that moment I realized that what I see may not the same thing they see. The way we view the world may not the same way the world is viewing itself.  The view of your position tells you the story of what you are focusing at, change the view you may see or tell the different story. Tupac Shakur said don’t look back unless it’s a good view, he emphasizes the importance of a good view to see a true reflection of the story or meaning. The good VIEW may give you the true reflection of the story. The word VIEW give you a perspective to the real story.

Vision: This is the art of seeing what is invisible to others. Going for the invisible that will improve your life and society.

Inspire: Aspire to inspire before we expire. Your small drops of water make an ocean. Just like that if you can accomplish small successes, it will turn into something bigger and better for everyone.

Empower: We are more powerful when we empower each other. It about improving others or yourself. When empowering another person, you impact that person, but not just them. You are impacting the world and, ultimately, yourself. Changing one person’s life may not change the world but it’s may change someone’s world.

Worth: You are the only one that can determine and improve your worth. No one can take away your power. This is an illusion, a false barrier you have built. You can claim your power the minute you realize that you have it.Common sense is not common to everyone, the same as what you see may not the same thing they see. The question is, what do you see from your VIEW?